Tag Archives: male beauty

Nicola Giancola: The Beautiful Stranger

Nicola Giancola, F. Holland Day, and the mystery of male beauty.

F. Holland Day, Portrait of Nicola Giancola, 1900.

Every old photograph asks the same questions. Who was this person? What did they fear? Whom did they love? What became of them? Every photograph is a small time capsule, preserving not just a face or a fleeting moment, but the enduring mystery of another human life.

When those photographs depict men, they often reveal something else: a world of relaxed intimacy and easy physical affection that feels startlingly unfamiliar today. Their expressions are open, their body language unguarded. To modern eyes, conditioned to read male beauty through the lens of sexuality, many of these images can appear strikingly, even unmistakably, gay.

Yet what draws us back to them is not simply curiosity. It is a curious blend of nostalgia, discovery, and recognition. They remind us that the language of masculinity has never been fixed, and that photographs can preserve not only people, but forgotten ways of being.

Few stories illustrate this better than that of Nicola Giancola (1886–1956).

It began when a friend sent me an old photograph he’d found online.

Giancola possessed a striking beauty that transcended the faded monochrome of the photograph. There was something in his gaze—confident yet vulnerable—that refused to remain trapped in the past. I wanted to know who he was.

The internet offered fragments: a handful of facts, a scattering of images, and tantalising references to Giancola’s connection with the American photographer Frederick Holland Day. But fragments were not enough. I wanted to turn fading photographs into a living man—to give substance to a ghost and answer questions that time had left forever unanswered. Every old photograph promises a story; the challenge is discovering how much of it can still be told.

Nicola Giancola was born in Campobasso, Italy, in 1886. His was a story shared by countless Italian families of the period.

Following Italian unification in 1861, the Molise region was devastated by chronic rural poverty, crippling taxation, and the decline of traditional agriculture. People left southern Italy in search of opportunity, many of them crossing the Atlantic to begin new lives in America.

Giancola was still a child when his family settled in the immigrant neighbourhoods of Chelsea, near Boston, Massachusetts. Like many boys of his generation, he contributed to the family income from an early age, working the streets as a shoeshine boy among the city’s growing Italian community.

His fortunes changed when he encountered Frederick Holland Day (1864–1933). Born into wealth and free from financial constraint, Day was a publisher, patron, and pioneering photographer who regarded photography not as mere documentation but as a legitimate form of fine art.

Exactly where the two first met remains uncertain, although the most plausible explanation lies in Day’s work at the Parmenter Street Mission in Boston’s North End, where he was closely involved with the Sunday School. One biographer memorably described him as the “Pied Piper of Parmenter Street.” He became mentor, benefactor, and friend to many underprivileged immigrant boys, often paying for their education and supporting them financially. He referred to them as his ‘Parmenter St. cherubs’.

Giancola, a gifted young artist whose striking good looks undoubtedly caught Day’s attention, soon became one of his favourites. Day financed his studies at the Eric Pape School of Art, paid for English lessons, and later used his influence to secure him work as a commercial artist.

Beginning in 1898, Day spent his summers at Little Good Harbor, his retreat near Five Islands, Maine. It became a haven for artists, writers, and the young men he had taken under his wing, including Giancola. They spent their days boating, swimming, reading, and playing board games, far removed from the crowded streets of Boston. Everyone wore identical sailor suits—a deliberate attempt by Day to erase outward distinctions of class and privilege and create a sense of equality among his companions.

F. Holland Day, Saint Sebastian, 1906

Frederick Holland Day’s sexuality has long been the subject of debate. His photographs of the male nude, together with the surviving evidence of his friendships and correspondence, have persuaded many historians that Day was homosexual, although definitive proof remains elusive. His close friend and business partner Herbert Copeland is widely believed to have been homosexual. Day’s extensive photography of adolescent boys would undoubtedly invite suspicion today, yet at the turn of the twentieth century it was widely understood within the conventions of artistic classicism rather than viewed through a modern lens.

Whether Giancola posed for Day as a child is something we will probably never know. In 1904, a fire destroyed around two thousand of Day’s prints and negatives, taking many possible answers with it.

One revealing anecdote survives from Giancola’s youth. His mother reportedly disliked the attention her son received from Day and Copeland and disapproved of him sitting for the two men. Greeting Copeland one day, she remarked coolly, “It’s very good of you, Mr Copeland, to take such an interest in my son.” Before Copeland could reply, the self-assured boy interjected, “Nobody can help taking an interest in me, can they, Mr Copeland?” Whether apocryphal or not, the story suggests a young man who was already aware of the power of his own beauty.

Day’s photography was painstakingly theatrical. He constructed elaborate settings, dressed his models in carefully chosen costumes, and manipulated his negatives to create soft, dreamlike images that blurred the boundary between photography and painting. Religious narratives, classical mythology, and scenes from history provided the inspiration, with friends, acquaintances, and often Day himself transformed into idealised figures from another age.

As Giancola entered adulthood, he became the model for some of Day’s most celebrated photographs. Made on the Ames Estate at North Easton, Massachusetts, the images combine classical symbolism, religious imagery, and varying degrees of nudity. To many modern viewers they possess an unmistakable erotic charge.

In her biography F. Holland Day, Pam Roberts goes further, suggesting that Giancola may have been more than simply Day’s favourite model. She observes that there is “a far stronger homoerotic element in almost all the photographs for which Giancola is the model than in Day’s other male nudes.”

The surviving correspondence between the two men offers tantalising, though inconclusive, hints of emotional intimacy. In one letter Giancola wrote:

“I will never forget the day we were out to Brockton, how happy I was… I thought the world was mine. When both of us were walking arm in arm… what Paradise it was! Tell me, Mr Day, do you not remember the happy times we had there?”

I have read the letter dozens of times and still cannot decide what it reveals. It may be no more than the heartfelt gratitude of a young man whose life had been transformed. Or perhaps there is something else beneath the surface. Like the photographs themselves, the words resist certainty.

The romantic ambiguity becomes even more complicated when the story continues. In 1910, Giancola married Mary Gertrude Conroy, with whom he would have seven children.

It is difficult not to wonder whether Giancola understood exactly how much Day admired him. Day had financed his education, paid him to model, and repeatedly supported him financially. Surviving correspondence suggests that Giancola frequently appealed to his benefactor for money, including one request for a loan of five hundred dollars to pursue a wealthy woman in New York. Day obliged, continuing to assist him for several years.

The two men appear to have remained in contact until the 1920s, after which the trail grows cold.

F. Holland Day, Nicola Giancola, Head-and-Shoulders Portrait, 1906

Giancola established himself as a successful commercial artist, working for several New York advertising agencies while living in Rockville Centre and later the Bronx. Alongside his commercial work he developed a reputation as a landscape painter, exhibiting at Babcock Galleries in 1926.

His career later took him to Brazil before he eventually settled with his family in New Canaan, Connecticut. During the 1950s the Giancolas moved once more, this time to Clearwater, Florida, where his paintings were exhibited at the J. Arlos Ogg Studios.

Nicola Giancola died suddenly in 1956 at the age of seventy. Yet more than a century after Frederick Holland Day first turned his camera towards him, it is those haunting photographs—not the paintings, the advertisements, or the ordinary milestones of his life—that continue to keep his memory alive.

We began with an old photograph of a stranger. By the end of the search he is no longer quite a stranger—but neither is he entirely knowable. That, perhaps, is the true power of old photographs. They preserve not certainty, but possibility.

F. Holland Day, Nude Youth, with Laurel Wreath, Leaning Against Rock, 1907
F. Holland Day, Nicholas Giancola, facing right, portraying St. Sebastian, 1906
F. Holland Day, Youth in Winged Hat and Robe, 1907

The Gorgeous Young: A Poem By Perry Brass

The speaker looks at beautiful young people in the present and wonders where they were when he was a child. Every generation believes beauty belongs to someone else. Every generation eventually discovers that it was temporary.

Canal Saint-Martin. Photo by Andrii Bulavka (2026)

Where were they
when I was a kid,
the gorgeous young
I see?

Did they drop
from the moon
on each sand dune

or arrive
at five
just for me?

Where were they
with their hair
and their teeth
and their shoulders
and stomachs, too;

did they fall
out of sight
on each summer’s night,
just to tempt me
and bend me
with fear?

I see them now
crowd the streets
and the beach,
the subways
and fashion stores,

they seem so cool,
unruffled and cruel
and make light fools
of us all.

But as you expect,
soon, quite direct,
they’ll become
just as you and I:

then the curious types
from their shadows will gripe,

just what did
become of us all?

Perry Brass
The poem originally appeared in Sex-Charge (1991).

Perry Brass is an acclaimed American author, journalist, poet, and pioneering LGBTQ+ rights activist. Born in Savannah, Georgia, in 1947, he became a core figure in the post-Stonewall gay liberation movement in New York City.

The Price of Staying Beautiful

Francisco ‘Chico’ Lachowski

There is one image I keep returning to

An almost naked young man stands beside a wall, his palms resting against it. Half-turned, he smiles seductively at the camera. He is teasing us: slim, tender, peach-coloured buttocks visible through his underwear, perfectly sculpted legs. He is devilishly cute. He wants to be devoured.

He ignites that unhealthy desire simmering somewhere inside us.

This, I found myself thinking, is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Except the photograph was taken twenty years ago. I would have been an impressionable eight-year-old boy.

The stalker in me wanted to know whatever became of this Boy Adonis.

As it turns out, he’s done rather well for himself.

He left modelling behind and built a successful career as a graphic designer.

Most strikingly, he bears almost no resemblance to the young man in that photograph.

The beautiful twink has become an ordinary forty-something, seemingly happier to indulge in junk food than gym memberships. Time has softened the angles that once made him so desirable.

Be careful what you wish for.

Not everything that glitters shines forever.

Yet he appears genuinely happy, and perhaps that matters more than eternal beauty. There is, it seems, life after the glitz and glamour have faded.

This was supposed to be a post about Brazilian supermodel Francisco Lachowski, one of the rare few who found fame at seventeen and remains in demand at thirty-five.

For every Lachowski, though, there are probably thousands who weren’t so fortunate.

The career of a male model is notoriously brief. By their late twenties many are already ageing out. Facial features lose their youthful sharpness, fresh faces replace familiar ones, and fashion’s relentless obsession with youth moves on without hesitation.

The pressure to remain lean, beautiful and commercially desirable is immense. Those who no longer fit a very specific ideal can find themselves discarded almost overnight.

Despite the glamour and apparent success, there is always one eye on the future—on life beyond the catwalk. Preparing for that transition can bring burnout, financial insecurity, sexual harassment and a heavy psychological toll.

Francisco Lachowski is one of the exceptions.

Discovered through a modelling competition, he won Ford Men’s Supermodel in 2008. His striking facial symmetry, hooded eyes and strong jawline quickly established him as an icon of modern male beauty.

“It changed completely, from being a lost boy who didn’t really know what to do with his life to travelling for the first time overseas and exploring the world working with the biggest names in fashion.”

His transition from teenage heart-throb to adult model became a visual blueprint for millions across Wattpad, Tumblr and, later, TikTok. He has also embraced Instagram, where a substantial online following has become an essential part of a successful modelling career.

For those whose careers end almost as quickly as they begin, however, the glamorous image of the fashion industry often bears little resemblance to reality. Losing relevance can mean losing income, identity and, for some, their mental wellbeing.

Francisco Lachowski. Cute teenage boy to adult model

My Week, For What It Was Worth


He was absolutely right …

It’s been a week of emails and rewrites.

Back and forth.

It’s not normally like this.

The editor of a magazine received my latest submission. It was different from my usual work; this time there were 2,500 words of creative writing. 

Thankfully, he liked it.

Then came the revisions.

Lose the opening paragraphs. Move a sentence. Remove the relationship angle. Tone down my favourite character. Rewrite the ending.

He was starting to annoy me.

A typical comment read:

“Your writing has become noticeably more restrained… Readers tend to trust narrators who don’t feel the need to interpret everything for them.”

All I wanted to do was submit the piece and see a payment appear in my bank account.

But we got there in the end.

Before sending the final draft, I read it one last time and realised something rather irritating.

He was absolutely right.

*****

Photo by Victoria M.

A lesson in speaking Dutch …

Signora Scala lives in the building next door, but spends more time in Signora Bruschi’s kitchen than in her own. It is not unusual to find her sitting at the table chopping vegetables or helping to make bread. All the while she will be engaged in animated conversation, sharing the latest gossip with Signora Bruschi, who appears to tolerate these daily intrusions.

Though she does occasionally test her patience.

“Is there not a week that passes without her mentioning that she is related to the Della Scala family?”

The Della Scala family was the influential medieval dynasty that once ruled Verona. Signora Scala is not technically related to them; she acquired the surname through marriage. Nor does she seem aware that there are thousands of modern-day Scalas living in circumstances every bit as modest as her own.

Signora Scala speaks no English, which makes my presence a constant source of frustration for her, but a welcome distraction for Signora Bruschi and Cola whenever I wander into the kitchen.

“She’s talking bullshit,” Cola might announce loudly, while Signora Scala smiles and nods in complete agreement.

I am something else she struggles to understand.

She cannot comprehend why Signora Bruschi refuses to charge me rent for the apartment.

“He is family,” Signora Bruschi replies.

“But you could live comfortably if you made him pay.”

The truth is that Signora Bruschi is far from poor, and she seems genuinely offended whenever I suggest contributing financially.

Cola insists that his mother fears I might not be able to afford it, and would simply leave.

Signora Scala will tut loudly, make the sign of the cross, and declare, “Ed è anche omosessuale.”

As though I hadn’t understood a word, Cola inevitably provides a translation.

“She says you like to take it up the arse.”

This week, perhaps determined to prove a point, Signora Scala announced that she was taking in a lodger for a month. He was a young Dutch dancer performing with a contemporary dance company at the Teatro Romano. For this, she informed us, she would be paid €150 a week.

Signora Bruschi, quietly folding the ironing, rolled her eyes.

“And what is this Dutch boy called?” she asked politely.

“Jort,” Signora Scala replied.

Except she had decided there was a proper Dutch pronunciation, producing something closer to “Joooorrrrrt.”

Cola pounced immediately.

“Joooorrrrrt,” he bellowed in an impossibly deep voice.

“Sì, Joooorrrrrt,” she confirmed.

“Joooorrrrrt!” he shouted even louder.

“Joooorrrrrt!” she echoed.

“Joooorrrrrt!”

“Joooorrrrrt!”

By now they were practically competing to see who could produce the most theatrical rendition of the poor boy’s name.

It was the finest Joooorrrrrting I had ever witnessed. 

“Oddio,” sighed Signora Bruschi.

*****

Photo by Paul Jasmin

On explaining a one night stand to Cola …

You just know, don’t you?

It is always the timid one, sitting quietly in the corner with the girls who want to protect him. 

Halfway decent-looking, too.

Johnny from Tunbridge Wells.

He’ll ask if I want to play Spider-Man 2 and snort lines of coke from his psychology notes. He rarely has the coke, but it sounds impressive.

I ask whether his mother still buys his underwear. He blushes. He says no, but we both know he is lying.

He freezes like a rabbit caught in a trap, yet he has no real desire to escape.

The next few minutes will make or break him. At least, that’s how it will feel.

Eventually, he drops his jeans, revealing the underwear his mother chose for him.

Now what?

You tell him to take off the underwear. When he does, his embarrassment is written all over him.

*****

My favourite newspaper quote …

“Oh dear. Such a shame to see the US lose at football after their insanely embarrassing president cheated for them. Still, it really brought the world together. The last time this many people cheered on a Belgian resistance, it was 1914 and the Germans had just crossed the Meuse.”


Marina Hyde, writing in The Guardian, UK.

*****


On cargo shorts and crop tops …

Imagine that one hundred years from now someone discovers a single photograph of you. Your music has vanished. No recordings survive. No interviews. No reviews.

What would you want that photograph to say about you?

“Cunt-serving twink.”

Severin introduced me to a rising German Gen-Z singer called Siovo. He played him incessantly in Taormina and, now that I’m back in Verona, I find myself doing much the same.

Siovo is one of the few openly gay artists working in the German pop scene, writing songs that explore queer identity, unrequited love, modern relationships and isolation.

At least, that’s what Severin tells me.

My complete ignorance of the German language means Siovo could just as easily be singing about bin collections or discounted washing powder.

He has also cultivated a distinct visual identity, usually appearing in an unlikely combination of oversized cargo shorts and cropped tops.

Naturally, I was delighted to discover that he had recently collaborated with photographer Nikolai Voelcker, whose work has a particular talent for capturing chavvy young men in various states of undress.

Lampoon magazine describes his photography rather more elegantly than I ever could:

“Photographer Nikolai Voelcker focuses on male dynamics. Friends joke, stretch limbs, shift postures, and press next to each other. Shoulders bump. Arms connect. These gestures do not carry disclaimers. They occur as part of casual time together. The camera records moments that raise questions about erotic currents in shared male space.

Photos by Nikolai Voelcker

*****


The Silence of Roca Rey …

The last person I saw fervently stroking and kissing rosary beads was Nico, my ex-boyfriend, who went through this disconcerting ritual every time we had sex.

I thought about Nico while watching Albert Serra’s riveting documentary Afternoons of Solitude, about the Peruvian matador Andrés Roca Rey, who appears to share the same devout Catholicism.

Cola watched the documentary on Mubi Italia. It was in Spanish with Italian subtitles, and the only things I understood with any certainty were the bulls.

“Uomo coraggioso,” Cola murmured.

“Uomo bellissimo,” was my reply.

I watched it again later, this time with English subtitles.

Roca Rey is a strikingly handsome twenty-nine-year-old: a man of countless facial expressions and very few words, capable of selling out bullrings across Spain, France and Latin America.

The global controversy surrounding bullfighting rests on a direct clash between animal welfare and cultural preservation.

It is utterly riveting, but an extremely difficult watch.

There is blood. Lots of it. The bulls, after all, never come out on top.

Supporters defend bullfighting as a deeply rooted art form and historical tradition: an epic celebration of human skill, courage and intellect overcoming the raw power of nature.

Phil Hoad, writing in The Guardian, observed:

“Filming Rey in transit in a people carrier, getting apparelled in his hyper-camp getup, rehearsing his mannerisms in a lift, Serra is fundamentally interested in questions of performance and style. In the arena, he documents the finesse and attitude with which the matador confronts, corrals and quells the raw force of nature. In the ring, Rey has an extraordinary repertoire of gestures: preening head tosses straight from a Whitesnake gig; a glowering demon kill-mask out of kabuki theatre.”

Roca Rey spends much of the documentary sitting silently in a people carrier while an entourage of yes-men shower him with endless praise. You were magnificent. So brave. Nobody does it like you. Hoad captures it perfectly: “There’s something almost insecure about the nonstop stream of compliments Rey’s entourage lavish on him.”

Roca Rey rarely responds. More than once I found myself willing him to turn around and shout, “Shut the fuck up!” But he never does. He remains almost unnervingly silent, and those cherubically handsome, boyish looks only make him more fascinating to watch.

*****

On attempting to pick someone up …

I woke him from his slumber. He had been staring without realising it. When I moved, he was startled. That was the moment you knew. You were in complete control; he wasn’t. Sometimes it made me think I hadn’t lost it after all.

I asked why he had been staring. He denied it.

“Well, I was staring at you,” I replied.

That was usually the point where they folded. The bolder ones called your bluff, and when they did, I made a tactical retreat, giving them just enough space to realise they had missed their chance.

They always came back. By then, they wanted what they had pretended not to.

*****

On the cute and willing…

Tim Wolf at East West Models, Germany. Photo by Ralph Geiling.

My Week, For What It Was Worth


On going out and getting drunk in Verona …

Francesco called me noioso, which I had no trouble interpreting as “boring”. And he wasn’t wrong. There comes a point in everyone’s life when drinking simply becomes too much. If I’m honest, that moment arrived for me in my early twenties. Others, like Francesco, were still going strong well into their thirties.

I was on my sixth Birra Moretti, and the combination of oppressive heat and alcohol was beginning to take its toll. Italians don’t generally binge drink, preferring a few leisurely glasses of wine instead. But Francesco had once lived in London and had wholeheartedly embraced the British tradition of getting shitfaced in the shortest possible time.

I was sinking fast.

Francesco—whose name I’m delighted to say translates rather wonderfully as “Frank Horse” in English—suggested that later we should head to Paradiso, an underground club that played 1980s Italo-disco for people who had missed it the first time around. There was a rumour that Disco Bambino would be DJing, but when I checked, he wasn’t even in the country.

With three hours still to kill before Paradiso opened, I knew I wasn’t going to make it. “Noioso,” he repeated when I told him I was heading back to the apartment to sleep it off. “But first we must go to the river. It will be cooler.”

By Italian standards, Frank Horse was no longer especially handsome. He had put on weight, dressed as though he had wandered straight out of the 1980s, and would have blended seamlessly into Paradiso. His nose had also been permanently bent after a fight in Piazza Bra.

But he hadn’t always looked that way.

Once upon a time, Frank Horse had been slim, handsome and one of Pietro’s boys. Eventually Pietro grew tired of his heavy drinking and cast him aside. It seemed that I had become his long-term replacement until Pietro dropped dead from a heart attack. Frank Horse now earned his living as a distinctly unhurried car mechanic in a rather dubious garage off Via XX Settembre. Yet, despite everything, he had never shown me the slightest resentment. He had always remained perfectly cordial.

He dragged me to Ponte di Castelvecchio, the fortified medieval bridge spanning the Adige, where tourists crowded together, phones and cameras raised. I squeezed past them to peer through one of the crenellations and marvelled at the broad sweep of water gliding silently beneath us, the afternoon sun dazzling on its surface.

Behind me, an American voice was enthusiastically explaining the bridge’s history.

“Of course, it’s not really the original bridge because it was blown up by the German army in 1945 and rebuilt using the stones recovered from the river.”

After a fair amount to drink, I have a habit of retreating into my own little world.

Had I been fully aware of my surroundings, I might have noticed the commotion further along the bridge, followed by a loud cheer. Seconds later there was an enormous splash as somebody landed feet first in the Adige. The young man waved happily as the current carried him towards Ponte della Vittoria.

Frank Horse eventually climbed out further downstream, where he was promptly arrested by the decidedly humourless Polizia Locale.

Alas, he never made it to Paradiso.


On finding that leather’s just for the look…

There is a room at the top of Signora Bruschi’s house that is filled with clutter. It is where unwanted things are taken to be forgotten. The good lady mentioned that there were boxes up there that had belonged to Pietro—and that they probably belonged to me now. It was a less-than-subtle hint that I ought to sort through them. I pretended not to hear.

Three boxes appeared in my room the following day.

Box Number One

Inside was an old Italian-language paperback, Fratelli by John Preston. The price sticker on the back still read L. 4.500. Time had turned the edges of the pages a brittle amber, carrying the faint scent of vanilla, dust and old glue. The book fell open naturally at page 142, where a paragraph had been permanently marked by the back of an old glossy Polaroid.

I recognised the photograph immediately. I’d seen it before. It was Hustler by Christopher Makos and taken in 1977: a handsome young man wearing nothing but a pair of jeans and a leather jacket, provocatively unzipped to reveal a well-toned chest.

Tucked inside the pages was a note, apparently torn from an old notebook.

One line leapt out at me.

“Leather’s just for the look. It comes off easy.”


On looking at young Peter again …

Well, I’m apparently being accused of hating David Hockney.

According to my inbox, my post about Peter Schlesinger, his lover and muse for three years, was unfairly biased in favour of the American (who, incidentally, is alive and well). Fair enough. But while I’ve always admired Hockney’s work—indeed, I seem to be surrounded by Hockney art at the moment—I never found the man himself in the least bit attractive.

The same could not be said of Peter Schlesinger fifty years ago. He was, surely, every man’s erotic dream.

I’ve now managed to get hold of Schlesinger’s A Chequered Past (2003), a collection of photographs taken during the 1960s and 1970s, accompanied by brief autobiographical reflections. (Note to self: why are old photography books always so darned expensive?)

The point I had tried to make—and evidently failed to make very well—was that Hockney was extraordinarily fortunate to have shared part of his life with someone like Schlesinger. Today, of course, such a teacher-student relationship would rightly raise serious ethical questions.

And perhaps Hockney was a little naïve not to realise that young free spirits have always had a habit—as they still do—of looking around the next corner.

How I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during that “dramatic and public break-up” in Cadaqués in 1971.


On being fooled by Dorian Grai …

Spotify chucked a recommendation my way.

It was a singer called Dorian Grai and a song entitled Hockney Blue, which I found surprisingly seductive. It is a tribute to David Hockney’s swimming pool paintings, particularly those populated by cute, half-naked young men.

A snapshot of the lyrics gives you the general drift.

I’ve had one night on my youth slipping away ever since I saw the boy who knew nothing of decay.

He slipped into the water cool, how it possessed him. So that every drop glistened as a diamond on his skin.

I can see him now as he swims across, how his body’s framed in that azure box.

And I had to be an admirer of the boy I knew I could never love.

So I wish him well, how I make my peace, and I take his portrait as a memory. And I see the stars and I smell the flowers, how the day is gone forever.

He was the boy in the turquoise swimming shorts, tanned skin, black hair, his body lean and honed and young.

He slipped into the swimming pool of Hockney blue.

So that all I could do was sit still, held beneath my eyes.

According to Blakeman Records, Dorian Grai is a twenty-year-old British-American digital artist. Hockney Blue is described as a smooth tropical house track with delicate harmonies and jazzy motifs—a paean both to the paintings of David Hockney and to the yearning regret of a love that never had the chance to blossom.

There is also an interview with the handsome young man.

“I’ll never forget how it felt to write my first song and to listen back to it. I was electrified by the act of creativity—that I had made this thing that had never existed before in the world—and I was hooked.”

Well, I like the song and I like the sentiment, but—and it is a very big but—it is entirely AI-generated, as is Dorian Grai himself.

To be fair, there is no attempt at deception. Everything is out in the open, right down to the lustfully created video of him swimming half-naked in a pool.


On the cute and willing…

Yehor at MOSS Management, Paris. Photo by Pasith Thirawatworakun (2026)

The David Problem: Notes from a Life

Artwork by Xristo Rodríguez

The Painter of Boys – Part 2

Henry had spent the morning sketching on the beach while his model sat naked upon a rock, gazing out to sea. He tried to capture the figure before him: broad, well-defined shoulders flowing into a powerful back that narrowed elegantly at the waist; sculpted arms, the muscles cleanly delineated beneath pale skin; strong, athletic legs whose proportions conveyed both grace and strength. The healthy glow of youth accentuated every subtle interplay of light and shadow across his form. Yet Henry knew that no matter how many times he put pencil to paper, he could never truly recreate the beauty before him. Johnny had cost half a crown, and he had earned it by remaining perfectly still for the better part of the morning.

It was shortly before midday when they heard the shots—two sharp reports that reverberated around the cove, causing Henry to drop his pencil and Johnny to start. Both looked about for the source of the disturbance, but nobody was in sight.

“It came from down there,” Johnny shouted, pointing towards the caves.

Before Henry could react, the boy was already running along Newporth Beach, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was still naked.

“Be careful, Johnny!” Henry called, hurrying after him.

The body lay in the first cave. By the time Henry arrived, Johnny was standing over the motionless figure.

“Is he dead?” Henry asked.

“As dead as he’ll ever be,” Johnny replied. “There’s a gun on the floor, but no blood.”

Henry picked it up—a six-chambered revolver—before kneeling beside the corpse and turning it onto its back.

“Two shots to the mouth,” he murmured.

The strangest thought crossed his mind: the seed of a painting. The naked youth standing over a dead man. Absurd, he told himself.

“I’m afraid I know who this is,” Henry said at last, a note of sadness in his voice. “Harry Tilly, of Boslowick.”

He rose and turned to Johnny.

“Run along and find the policeman. Tell him to come here at once. But get dressed first, or the scandal will be greater than it already is.”

*****

David pieced the story together in his head as he followed Joshua down the steep track—or what passed for one—towards Sunny Cove. He had recently come across a newspaper article from 1894 describing how the artist Henry Scott Tuke and one of his models had discovered the body of a Falmouth solicitor in a cave on Newporth Beach. Most of David’s ideas grew from forgotten histories, but only now had it occurred to him that the incident might provide the foundation for a novel.

Brambles, nettles and dense undergrowth crowded the route, obscuring their footing. Before long, the path dissolved into a treacherous slope of loose slate, fractured rock and powdery earth. One careless step could send them tumbling onto the beach below, though ropes had been fixed to the cliffside to assist those bold enough to attempt the final descent.

‘Tuke’s House’ had once stood on the clifftop, but it had vanished long ago. Seventy years earlier, thousands of tons of rock and soil had collapsed into the sea near Pennance Cottage, forcing its occupants to abandon it. The empty building soon became a playground for local children, who tore up floorboards and left a trail of destruction until the structure was deemed unsafe. Its owner, Mrs Trench Fox, eventually ordered it demolished. Tuke had been dead for twenty-five years, and few mourned the loss.

Most of Tuke’s male nudes had been painted on the beaches below—Tuke’s Beach, Sunny Cove and Newporth Beach—names familiar only to locals. To outsiders fortunate enough to find them, they appeared to be a single uninterrupted stretch of coastline.

David and Joshua had discovered Sunny Cove the previous year. On that occasion, the weather had been cool and overcast, and they had the beach entirely to themselves. Few people ventured here; only those who knew where to find it. Together they had wandered along the narrow stretch of pebbles, exploring the rocky ledges and platforms while imagining the summers when Tuke and his models had spent long, sunlit days on the shore.

This time, however, the weather was glorious, and the beach no longer felt as though it belonged exclusively to them.

“Shit,” muttered David. “There are people here.”

“And an eyeful of old man penis,” Joshua added.

It was true. Half a dozen men were sunbathing completely naked.

“I didn’t realise it was a nudist beach,” David said.

“Not just a nudist beach,” Joshua replied in a low voice, “but probably a good place for blokes to go cruising.”

David slipped on his sunglasses and pretended to check his phone, giving himself an excuse to study their fellow beachgoers.

“My God,” he said. “The place is full of gay grandads.”

It was not entirely unfair. Most of the men were well past their prime, their sun-darkened skin weathered like old leather.

“The truth is, they’re probably younger than you are,” Joshua replied with a mischievous grin.

“Maybe, but at least I haven’t lost my looks. And I still have a decent figure.”

David felt obliged to maintain the fiction that he remained an Adonis, though deep down he knew the evidence was becoming less convincing with every passing year.

As they spread out their towels, he became acutely aware that the other men were watching them too. The object of their attention was clearly Joshua, who had already stripped down to his underwear.

“Henry Scott Tuke had an endless supply of beautiful young models,” David grumbled. “I get naked old men with tiny dicks.”

He found himself wondering whether Joshua intended to go completely nude. Even in a pair of Calvin Kleins, Joshua was striking: handsome, slim, and blessed with long, elegant legs. More importantly, he knew it. David had no doubt that Joshua would make the most of every advantage nature had given him.

Joshua made his way into the sea, wincing as the sharp pebbles bit into his feet. It was, he seemed to think, a small price to pay for the opportunity to perform before an audience.

David heard footsteps crunching across the shingle. One of the men—a naked, pot-bellied figure—waded into the water a short distance from Joshua. David watched with growing irritation as the pair splashed through the waves, as though participating in some obscure mating ritual.

Joshua had always been attracted to older men; after all, that was how he and David had ended up together. Lately, however, David found that fact increasingly difficult to ignore. He searched for the correct term. Chronophilia? Gerontophilia? When he had been Joshua’s age, older men had held no appeal for him—certainly not men old enough to be his father. In that respect, at least, he had remained remarkably consistent. He still preferred younger men, although the age gap widened with every passing year.

Joshua eventually returned to his side.

“That guy’s dick is too shrivelled to appeal to anybody,” David muttered.

“It’s because it’s cold,” Joshua replied, shivering. He glanced around as though only just noticing the older man who had joined him in the sea. “Hmm,” he said thoughtfully. “I wonder what he’ll say about me when I get naked.”

“I think not,” David said sharply, unhappy with the direction of the conversation.

“I think you should take off your clothes,” Joshua suggested.

“I think not,” David repeated.

He pulled a book on Italian cinema from his rucksack and opened it. Beside him, Joshua stretched out and closed his eyes.

*****

The young man wore shorts and a T-shirt and appeared to be in his early twenties. Handsome, though not in a conventional way, David thought. Perhaps interesting was the better word. There was something about him — something difficult to define — that immediately drew David’s attention. He chose a spot near David and Joshua.

David found himself reading the same sentence of his book again and again, unable to concentrate as the young man began removing his clothes. If there is a God, he prayed silently, let him strip naked. It seemed, for once, that God was listening, because that was exactly what he did. Joshua, meanwhile, appeared to have fallen asleep.

The young man settled onto his towel, drawing his knees to his chest.

“Hi,” he said to David.

David returned an awkward nod, reluctant to speak too loudly and wake Joshua.

“I’m Daniel,” the young man continued.

Joshua raised a hand in a vague gesture of acknowledgment, waving at nobody in particular. He seemed to have little interest in the newcomer, but made it clear that he was aware of his presence.

David searched for something clever to say — something that might break the ice, but nothing that might reveal too much of his interest.

“It’s a lovely day,” was all he managed.

The brief exchange gave David an opportunity to study Daniel more closely. He was slender, his pale body possessing a quiet, unassuming beauty that held David’s attention.

“Are you on holiday?” Daniel asked.

“Yes,” David replied. “And you?”

“I’m a student. Film studies at Falmouth University. I noticed you’re reading a book about Italian cinema, so I guess you’re interested in films too. What do you do?”

It was the question David always dreaded. He preferred people not knowing who he was. Though, he admitted to himself, there was a part of him that wondered whether Daniel might be impressed to discover he was speaking to a famous author.

“I’m a chef,” David lied.

Joshua let out a small laugh.

“Do you mind if I join you both?”

David, naturally, raised no objection and gestured for him to move closer. He watched as Daniel spread his towel beside them. At that precise moment, Joshua removed his Calvin Kleins and stretched himself fully beneath the sun.

David felt decidedly overdressed and, despite himself, slightly guilty; everyone else on the beach was naked except him. Daniel looked along the shoreline, his gaze taking in the scattered sunbathers before briefly settling on Joshua.

“Arthur’s Beach,” he remarked. “Why is it called Arthur’s Beach?”

The words Arthur’s Beach had been painted in yellow on a prominent rock overlooking the shore.

Joshua spoke for the first time.

“Because,” he said wearily, “many years ago, a local man named Arthur used to greet people by asking, ‘Had a good afternoon on Arthur’s Beach?’ before wandering off again.”

The story was true, and the name had endured so completely that it now appeared in naturist guides and travel forums alike.

“Looking at you sitting here, Daniel,” David interjected, “you could have stepped out of one of Tuke’s paintings.”

The expression on Daniel’s face made it clear that he had no idea what David was talking about.

“Henry Scott Tuke? The painter? Famous for his young men on the beaches of Cornwall?”

Still no reaction.

David searched his phone for some of Tuke’s most famous paintings and handed it to Daniel. He studied the images carefully, but his expression revealed nothing.

“Most of them were painted here,” David said. “On this very beach.”

Daniel raised an eyebrow, and David found himself charmed by his innocence — not an innocence of youth, but of someone who had simply never encountered this small corner of artistic history.

“The interesting thing about Tuke’s male nudes is that they are remarkably tasteful. Not once does he reveal any genitalia.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, David’s eyes drifted instinctively towards Daniel’s body. He immediately looked away, a flush rising to his face, as though he had inadvertently betrayed his own curiosity.

“I think I may have seen some of these paintings before,” Daniel conceded.

David detected a flicker of mischief in his eyes.

“Tuke was a gentleman,” David continued, eager to defend the long-dead artist while also diverting attention from his own embarrassment. “His models wrote about his kindness and his integrity.”

“The figures look quite young.”

“Yes,” David admitted, with a trace of uncertainty.

“We can guess,” Daniel said.

“But it is difficult to prove. We’ll never know the exact ages of all his models.”

David waited for Joshua to come to his rescue, to offer some reassuring observation that might settle the discussion. Nothing came. Instead, Daniel’s expression shifted into something approaching a smirk, and David realised he was being gently provoked.

“Well, if you really think I could have stepped out of one of Tuke’s paintings, then I’m flattered if you think I look young enough.”

Joshua opened his eyes and turned towards them.

“There seems to be an element of flirting taking place here,” he observed with a playful smile.

“Not at all,” David replied too quickly.

“Take your clothes off, David. Stop spoiling the party.”

David stared at Joshua in disbelief. Then he looked at Daniel, who merely shrugged, as though to say, Why not?

But Joshua knew David would never undress—not anymore, and certainly not in front of Daniel. Instead, David steered the conversation elsewhere.

“There’s another Tuke painting you might find interesting.” He searched for it on his phone. “It’s called A Cadet on Newporth Beach, near Falmouth, with Another Boy in the Sea. You’ll notice that the cadet is fully clothed.”

He showed the image to Daniel.

“Do you know who the cadet is? It’s T. E. Lawrence — Lawrence of Arabia — and it was painted here as well.”

“Yes, fully clothed,” Daniel agreed. “But probably in the process of getting undressed.”

My Week, For What It Was Worth


On the boy delivering junk mail…
He stopped some distance from the door. He seemed like a prowling cat suddenly aware that there might be danger. He stayed still, contemplating whether to proceed or retreat. His eyes were nervous and suspicious. And I, standing almost naked in the doorway, smiled as if to say, “I might only be wearing yesterday’s dirty Calvin Klein’s but I’m no threat.” But he made his decision and turned away.

On the woman who told me…
“It was a long time ago. I was young and pregnant and very drunk. I went to a guy in Spain who agreed to give me a tattoo on my huge stomach. I chose that yellow, grinning, trippy smiling ‘acid’ face. After I gave birth it looked like a deflated balloon and I’ve had to live with it.”

On resolving Liam’s finances…
Liam the skater boy, who is short, cute, wears round glasses and has hairy legs. He told me that his girlfriend had moved out and now he was struggling to pay the rent. The briefest thought crossed my mind. I nearly suggested that he sell his body, and become my rent boy. But I didn’t. I remembered that I will not pay for sex until I am old.

On buying old homoerotic novels…
My compulsion to buy vintage homoerotic novels – The Loom of Youth, Despised and Rejected, Tell England. The age of innocence… or was it? Those intense male relationships that remained aesthetic, psychological, and slightly dangerous, rather than purely physical. The obsession with male beauty and youth. The internal conflict between desire and morality. The longing that could not be fulfilled.

On meeting the boy with the moustache…
The small skinny student with an angelic face who had grown a moustache. I hated it and resisted the urge to say so because I knew that he already lacked confidence. He, who couldn’t look me in the eye like he was ashamed of something. Who looked slightly scruffy in the careless way that hinted at potential—like a statue still hidden inside the stone.

On getting lots of messages…
Like naughty schoolboys sniggering at other people’s shortcomings, we trade a constant stream of nonsense and casual insults about the world around us. It is the only language we seem to share, the only ground we truly have in common. From boys to men—ten years of a love affair that never happened. And yet each message makes my heart sing, filling me with a fragile hope, and I find myself wondering whether, somewhere on the other end, he might be feeling the same.

On listening to David reminiscing…
An old song came on the radio: Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft. A sci-fi anthem about humanity attempting telepathic contact with extraterrestrial beings. I had never heard it before and mocked the corny American DJ intro.

David frowned. It turned out to be one of his favourites.

“Days at sea,” he said. “I think of a cloudy afternoon on a choppy Mediterranean, sailing from somewhere to somewhere. Feeding coins into a jukebox and drinking weak shandy from white plastic cups. Enough of it that we convinced ourselves we were drunk, though really it was just hormonal schoolboys egging one another on.

“It was a big hit for The Carpenters. Actually a cover of a song by a group called Klaatu, who people once claimed were The Beatles recording under a pseudonym. Absolute bollocks.”

Stolen Words: Boys in the Trees – Carly Simon

By the Lake: An Ode to Freedom and Youth by Niv Shank. HeyBoyMag (2025)

“I’m home again in my old narrow bed
Where I grew tall and my feet hung over the end
The low beam room with the window looking out
On the soft summer garden
Where the boys grew in the trees.”

Boys in the Trees (1978). Lyrics by Carly Simon.

The ‘Stripped Down’ Spectacle

Frazer Harrison//Getty Images

The body grows older; the mind, one hopes, grows softer. Justin Bieber steps onto the Grammys stage wearing little more than boxer shorts and black socks, and suddenly we declare him grown. A raw act, we’re told—an offering of honesty, of soul laid bare. Others call it baffling, even disturbing, unsettled by a performance that flirts so closely with undress. But who are we to protest?

Once, the disdain came loudest from older men who sneered at his pre-pubescent voice, his softness, his prettiness—at the very things that made him desirable. He was easy on the eye, a doll to be admired and dismantled in the same breath. It was fashionable to hate him.

Then came the litany of recklessness: urinating in a restaurant mop bucket, the abandoned monkey in Germany, the tabloid parade of bratty excess. Legal troubles piled up, stories of disrespect followed close behind, and obscene wealth insulated him from consequence, from the slow education of ordinary life. Entitlement clung to him like cologne.

And yet here we are. A sharp crew cut, a half-naked body under the glare of millions, and absolution arrives. Forgiveness, it seems, does not always come through music. Sometimes it comes through the body.

Stolen Words: “In our youth we are all beautiful.”


“When I see this image, the first thing that comes to mind is my theory that in our youth we are all beautiful! Is it because in our twenties very few things scare us, or because life has barely run us over yet? It is not my intention to make you think that this is the best period of our lives, I absolutely don’t think that! But there is something there, perhaps the little life one still has behind them, that gives this stage a bright patina. Later, that shine doesn’t disappear, it just changes its nature. It becomes deeper, more complex, sometimes harder to see at first glance, but no less real.” – Nuria Velasco

Old Photos Cabinet