Category Archives: Verona

Shadows of Verona – Mine to Lose

“I don’t think your brother liked me,” I suggested to Bianchi.

His English had improved enormously since our last meeting, but he failed to understand what I had said. This, I realised, was how our conversations were going to be. My Italian was considerably worse.

“Lorenzo,” I persisted. “He hated me.”

“Enzo does not like me either,” Bianchi replied. “He says I must change. If I do not, he will make me change.” He paused before adding with a hopeful smile, “Is my English good?”

The memory lingered.

Bianchi’s mother scarcely looked old enough to have three grown children. Her eyes sparkled as she welcomed me into her home. Cinzia had clearly told her about me. Like most of the family, she spoke no English, and Cola translated.

She is delighted that you have come.”

In the background, Lorenzo had made his feelings perfectly clear. As we left the apartment, I glanced back just in time to see him draw a finger slowly across his throat.

We settled in the small courtyard behind Signora Bruschi’s building. Four sun-bleached walls, their peeling ochre and sienna softened by deep green ivy, enclosed the space. Around us drifted the familiar soundtrack of Italy: overlapping conversations spoken in rapid, melodic bursts, punctuated by warm laughter and the rhythmic clink of porcelain spoons against ceramic coffee cups.

Cinzia seemed to interpret my return as a declaration of intent towards Bianchi, who sat casually between us.

“Lorenzo è uno stronzo,” she declared. “He is a complete asshole. Ignore him.”

“I disagree,” Cola interrupted. “Miles must be careful not to antagonise him, otherwise there will be consequences.”

“I do not like the sound of this person,” Signora Bruschi frowned.

For the first time that day I was able to study Bianchi properly.

He was small in stature but lean and athletic. His olive complexion carried the faintest flush across his cheeks, while his pale eyes seemed incapable of hiding emotion. Whenever he spoke, his hands moved instinctively, every gesture as expressive as his words.

Bella figura.

Like many boys his age, he dressed with understated style: dark skinny jeans, immaculate white leather trainers, a pale button-down shirt, and around his neck a simple silver chain from which a small St Christopher medallion occasionally caught the light.

He noticed me watching him.

The unguarded charm of a working-class country boy surfaced immediately. His hand brushed gently against my knee, and the hopeful expression on his face suggested that he was still searching for my approval.

I remained uncertain whether this was a path I truly wanted to follow.

The oppressive heat mirrored the suffocating intensity of obsession.

Much had happened during the past year.

Bianchi was studying sports science at Liceo Scientifico Statale Angelo. He had also found part-time work as a porter at a hotel in Verona. Once school broke for the summer, he would spend the season picking peaches, cherries and kiwi fruit on a large farm before moving into the nearby vineyards for the September grape harvest.

Then Signora Bruschi announced that she would prepare lunch for everyone.

Almost immediately, Cola declared that he and Cinzia were meeting friends later at Pedrotti on Via Venti Settembre.

“But Bianchi will stay here,” he added with a grin. “No doubt he will spend the night with Miles.”

His announcement made it sound as though I had been volunteered to babysit Bianchi, who was still considered too young to spend the evening drinking with the others. Pleasant though it was to be included, I could not escape the feeling that Cola and Cinzia were quietly steering events.

Signora Bruschi immediately crossed herself.

“That will not happen,” she said firmly.

Her reaction caught me by surprise.

Like many Italians, she held deeply rooted Catholic beliefs, yet she had raised no objection when I had lived with Pietro several years earlier. After his death, she had even insisted that his rooms were mine whenever I wished to return.

“Bianchi is welcome to stay,” she continued, “but he must sleep in Cola’s room.”

“Cosa vuoi dire, mamma?”

There was, I had come to realise, a distinctly Veronese form of compromise. Family harmony always came first. Certain realities were quietly accepted, provided nobody spoke about them too openly.

“Bianchi will share a bed with you, Cola.”

“Ma, mamma…”

She folded her hands as though in prayer.

“I must protect both boys,” she said. “Miles is already in a relationship, and I will not allow anything to happen beneath my roof that might threaten that.”

Only then did Bianchi understand.

His shoulders dropped, and the disappointment on his face was impossible to miss. He had lived on memories for an entire year. Now it seemed he would have to keep waiting.

No one had asked for my opinion.

The more I thought about it, the more I realised that obsession did not belong to Bianchi alone.

The thought of Cola and Bianchi sharing a bed stirred a jealousy I had never known I possessed. Whatever doubts I still harboured, I suddenly recognised that I regarded Bianchi as mine to lose. Cola, who had no interest whatsoever in Cinzia’s younger brother and would never dream of taking advantage of the arrangement, had nevertheless become the one person standing between us.

Only Cinzia seemed amused.

“Cola,” she teased, “I hope you can survive the smell of Bianchi’s cheap body spray and teenage sweat. Perhaps it would be better if you slept with Miles instead, and Bianchi could have Miles’s bed all to himself.”

Shadows of Verona – You Are Here

“C’è un ragazzo che viene a trovarti ogni giorno e ti chiede quando torni.” There is a boy who comes to visit you every day and asks when you are coming back.

Bianchi had been turning up at Signora Bruschi’s doorstep daily.

“Credo di essere nei guai. Sono nei guai grossi.” I think I am in trouble. I am in serious trouble.

Bianchi messaged me too, sometimes several times a day, and each time I replied with words designed to prolong the chase.

“Torna presto, per favore. Ho bisogno di parlarti.”

“I will come over soon,” I promised.

But that was last year, and I never did.

Bianchi was now seventeen, and on his birthday I sent the same number of red roses. His sister, Cinzia, provided me with updates. In her eyes, I had crossed a line. The time had come to make a commitment.

Cola, meanwhile, painted another picture.

“There is only one way to end his heartache,” he wrote. “There is only one way to calm a stormy sea.”

I was never entirely certain what he meant.

I had missed Cola.

He was now nineteen and no longer the skinny boy I remembered. I suspected that he had been spending time in the gym. His body had broadened, his shoulders were stronger, and he seemed taller than ever. With temperatures stuck in the mid-thirties, he wore sunglasses, a baggy white T-shirt and black shorts that showed off his long, sun-darkened legs.

But some things had not changed.

He still drove too fast, as if the possibility of death around the next bend had never occurred to him. He pushed the bright yellow Abarth 500 along the E70 before leaving the main road and cutting through the countryside towards San Giorgio in Salici.

Before I had arrived, Cola had sent me one of his strange messages:

In love, conversation is direct but risks becoming too harsh; measure your tone. In love, you desire stability, but someone is testing you.

I wondered whether it was a warning.

San Giorgio is a highly venerated figure in Italian Catholicism. He is also St George, the patron saint of England.

“Maybe it is a sign,” Cola said, his arms stretched along the steering wheel as he reclined in his seat.

I had arrived in Verona the previous night. Cola had collected me from Villafranca Airport and wasted no time suggesting that we visit his girlfriend, Cinzia, and her brother, Bianchi.

His mother, Signora Bruschi, had been less enthusiastic.

“The boy is too young,” she warned. “He is not old enough to know what he wants. Are you not happy with your boyfriend?”

I did not have the energy to explain about Charlie. I had neither seen nor heard from him since our falling-out in Paris, and the likelihood was that I never would again. My future suddenly seemed to contain too many possible paths.

Cola had not told Cinzia that we were coming.

“She is working this morning, but it is a half-day and she will be home around lunchtime. There is always somebody at home.”

I had my reservations.

My appearance in San Giorgio in Salici might reopen wounds that had only partially healed. Bianchi still messaged me, though now perhaps only once a week. It felt as if he was slowly moving on, while leaving a door open in case I chose to meet him halfway.

Cinzia was different. She had hoped that I would satisfy her younger brother’s desires and now believed that I had treated him badly.

Would I still be welcomed in the same way as the year before?

“I must tell you that Lorenzo will be there,” Cola warned.

“Who is Lorenzo?”

“Cinzia and Bianchi’s older brother. I suggest that you ignore whatever he says.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lorenzo is trouble — for his family and for himself. He makes life difficult for Bianchi because he is gay.”

Cola ran his hand through his short hair, leaving only one hand on the steering wheel, which did little to calm my nerves.

San Giorgio in Salici emerged from the Veronese countryside, surrounded by flourishing vineyards, a village that seemed little more than a collection of houses stretching along its roads. Cola screeched to a halt on Via Celà and announced that we had arrived.

The building where Cinzia and Bianchi lived looked tired. Four storeys high, its crumbling exterior had been patched with uneven concrete repairs. The ground floor contained a garage and storage rooms; the floors above were residential.

“They live at the top,” Cola said, pointing towards a balcony that stretched across the façade.

I followed him up the communal stairs. There was no lift. On one of the walls somebody had sprayed a single word of graffiti.

Vaffanculo.

“Go fuck yourself,” Cola translated.

I had long realised that Italians rarely knocked on doors or rang bells when they were not strangers. Once Cola had made sure I was behind him, he walked straight into the apartment and moved down a long corridor lined with family photographs.

The living room was filled with more memories — framed pictures, hand-painted ceramics and Catholic iconography: crucifixes, rosaries and a statue of Padre Pio. A large dining table stood by the window, covered with fine linen and carefully arranged dinnerware.

A young man — presumably Lorenzo — was stretched across a sofa watching a game show. He looked at us but did not move. Cola greeted him with a high-five and exchanged a few words in Italian.

Lorenzo turned his eyes towards me.

There was suspicion there.

He spoke quietly to Cola, but his expression suggested that he had already decided he did not like me.

“Cinzia is not home yet,” Cola explained. “Bianchi has gone to the grocery store with his mother and will be back soon. Sit down.”

There was an obvious resemblance between Lorenzo and Bianchi, although the older brother was taller, with shorter hair and the kind of beauty that seemed almost commonplace among young Italian men.

I remembered something David Hockney once said: if handsome New York boys ranked at one hundred, handsome Italian boys were almost certainly at one thousand.

But Lorenzo lacked Bianchi’s warmth.

“He does not speak English,” Cola said. “But Bianchi has been learning at the liceo.”

I remembered the days when our conversations had relied on Cinzia’s excellent English and her willingness to translate.

“Be careful of Lorenzo,” Cola continued in a lowered voice, although Lorenzo undoubtedly knew we were discussing him. “He hates that Bianchi is gay and will not like the idea of you being here, especially if he thinks you have come to take his brother away.”

“Then why did you insist that I come, Cola?” I asked.

“They are family to me,” he replied. “Just as you are like a big brother to me, Miles. But Lorenzo spends time with bad people — criminals who go into Verona to steal from shops and tourists. I do not like it, but he is Cinzia’s brother, and I must respect him.”

Suddenly, the apartment door slammed.

“Bianchi. Vieni qui. C’è qualcuno che ti aspetta.”

“Aspettare?” he replied.

There was a muffled exchange in the kitchen, followed by the sounds of cupboards opening and closing. Then their mother laughed — a sharp, joyful shriek, as though Bianchi had said something unexpected.

“Bianchi!” Lorenzo shouted impatiently.

It is difficult to describe the expression on his face when he appeared.

He stood in the doorway.

His eyes widened. His eyebrows lifted. His mouth fell slightly open as he struggled to draw breath.

His gaze fixed on me.

“Miles,” he whispered.

“You are here.”

Straight Out of Verona – Part 7 – Finale

Ciao Bianchi – Charlie Marseilles

I had been summoned to Piazza Gilardoni, in the shadow of the Chiesa del Santissimo Nome di Maria—an imposing modernist church at Castel d’Azzano, some ten kilometres from Verona. The message had come from Cinzia, relayed with reluctance by Cola. During the drive he blasted Italian rap at full volume, perhaps to stop me asking questions.

We perched on a warm stone bench and waited. Cola, usually chatty, was subdued and chain-smoking.

The bells clanged on the hour. A man pruned branches into a heap outside the church, then stuffed them into a green bin. Another fussed with a watering can, an oddly futile gesture against the bulk of the trunk.

“My mother is angry with me,” Cola said suddenly. “She told me I should never have interfered—and if anything goes wrong, I’ll be the one to blame.”

I opened my mouth to ask what he meant, but at that moment I saw Cinzia and Bianchi crossing the road. For such a small suburb, the traffic was vicious. Cinzia waved, ushering us into a café called Al Quindese.

Inside, she kissed us both on the cheek, whispered something sharp to Cola, and ordered drinks. Bianchi scrolled through his phone, pointedly disengaged, not even looking up when she ordered him a shakerato and the rest of us espressos.

“It’s been a long time since we were last here,” Cinzia said. “Our grandmother grew up nearby. She still lives just around the corner.”

I tried again. “Why is Signora Bruschi angry with you, Cola?”

He faltered, glanced at Cinzia. She only smiled, unembarrassed.

“Perhaps I am the cause,” Cinzia said lightly. “I hoped you’d come today, though I wouldn’t have blamed you if you hadn’t. Cola knew the reason, but apparently he couldn’t tell you.” She shot him a disapproving look.

“I couldn’t,” Cola protested. “You already had a boyfriend—a Frenchman. And when I told my mother, she said we had no right to interfere.”

Cinzia leaned closer. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I only try to look after my little brother.” She spoke as though Bianchi could not hear, forgetting – or pretending to forget – that his English was weak.

Bianchi sensed the attention on him and glanced up, puzzled.

“I hope someone will eventually explain,” I muttered.

“Oh, it’s simple,” Cinzia said breezily. “Bianchi is shy. He’ll sit there looking innocent while I say anything I please about him. I could call him a murderer and he wouldn’t know.”

As she spoke, I noticed a man on a high balcony, leaning against a railing where laundry hung. Unshaven, in a crumpled shirt, he looked down on us from his faded yellow building.

“Tell me,” Cinzia asked suddenly, “do you like my brother?”

I hesitated. “I do. Provided he isn’t a killer.”

She laughed, then called something to Bianchi in Italian. He blushed, shrugged, answered. She translated with a mischievous smile. “He says he won’t kill you – unless you break his heart.”

“How could I possibly do that?”

“Bianchi is a baby,” she said, “curious, uncertain. But for now, he thinks he’s in love with you.”

Heat rose in my face. I looked at Cola for rescue.

“Sedici,” he groaned. “Cinzia, the boy is only sixteen.”

I stared. “But you told me he was eighteen.”

“I lied,” Cola admitted. “Otherwise you’d never have gone to the cinema with us.”

Bianchi smiled faintly and fixed his gaze on the Virgin Mary statue outside. Cola muttered something in Italian. Bianchi’s shoulders drooped.

“What did you tell him?” I demanded.

“That you’re only interested in girls,” Cola said smugly. “It’s safer that way. My mother will be relieved.”

Cinzia scolded him in Italian. Whatever she said, it lifted Bianchi’s expression again.

“I do like him,” I said carefully, “but I already have Charlie. And Bianchi… he’s far too young.”

“In Italy, age is not the same concern,” Cinzia replied. “The law is fourteen, regardless of gender. And Bianchi is capable of marvellous things.” Her eyes glinted wickedly. “He can squeeze the juice from an orange with the cheeks of his buttocks.”

Bianchi understood enough to flush crimson. Cola looked guilty, and I seized the chance to turn on him.

Straight Out of Verona – Part 6 – Pietro


There was a long story behind my relationship with Signora Bruschi – and the apartment. I was about Cola’s age when I first met an Italian boy named Nico and moved to Perugia. Those were long, hot summer days and steamy nights, but autumn soon cast its shadow over the affair. Quite frankly, we grew bored of each other. Being a free spirit, I hopped on a train to Milan.

That was where I met Pietro Mancini, an older gentleman with decidedly queer tendencies, who owned a large accountancy firm with branches in Turin, Milan, and Verona. I enjoyed the attention: the fine clothes, fancy restaurants, lavish holidays, and an endless supply of money. In return, I excused his camp mannerisms and tiresome gestures. I was his toy—his plaything—a good-looking boy at his beck and call.

Until I discovered there was nothing exclusive about this arrangement.

When Pietro suggested I move into his rented apartment in Verona, I saw it as the next step in what felt like a dreamlike adventure. Since he spent most of his time in Milan, I was spared his unwelcome advances and free to live as I pleased. Verona suited me, and it was there that my friendship with Signora Bruschi and her son, Cola, began.

On the day that Cola blurted out: “Is it true that you like to fuck boys?” His mother promptly clouted him on the head with a wooden spoon, but he pressed on: “Signor Mancini has a boy in every town, but I’m glad it was you who came to Verona.” I had been naïve enough to think I was the only one. His words made perfect sense, and the warning bells began to ring.

I didn’t begrudge Pietro his indulgences, but selfishly, I worried that I might fall out of favour and be cast aside when it suited him. On his next visit to Verona, over dinner in Piazza Bra, I demanded the truth. That was when I learned about Severin, a German boy in his Turin apartment, and Elio, my Italian replacement in Milan—apparently his favourite. “Italian boys are more cultured than English and German boys,” Pietro told me.

At Christmas, Pietro invited me to Milan, where I met Severin and Elio for the first time. He expected us to get along, but little was said between us. After a festive meal at Bulgari Milano, and more than enough drink, we realised we were all victims of his lustful whims. A conspiratorial bond formed between us.

In the new year, I returned to Verona, expecting Pietro to arrive on business the following week. On the day of his arrival, I went to Verona Porta Nuova to meet his train, but he wasn’t on it. I returned to the apartment and waited. That night, Elio called: Pietro had dropped dead of a heart attack.

Signora Bruschi was kind and told me I could stay in the apartment. I explained I couldn’t afford the rent, but she insisted it would not be a problem.

In the months that followed, with no money coming in, I lived on the Bruschi family’s generosity. Pietro’s affairs were slowly unravelled, and eventually his will was read. Nineteen-year-old Elio inherited the bulk of the estate, including the Milan apartment. Severin and I received only nominal sums—decent, but since the Turin and Verona apartments were rented, we were effectively homeless.

With little Italian and no job prospects, I left Verona and returned to the UK.

The apartment, however, was kept clean and tidy by Signora Bruschi, who insisted it remain empty and always available for me if I visited. The last time had been fourteen months ago—before Charlie gate-crashed my life.

Straight Out of Verona – Part 5 – Bianchi

Bianchi – Charlie Marseilles

Charlie messaged me in the morning, as I knew he would. Despite the thousand kilometers between Paris and Verona, he stirred my guilty conscience, even though I hadn’t felt guilty when I went to bed.

What did you get up to last night?

Cola had dragged me to the cinema with Cinzia, and along the way, we picked up her younger brother in Castel d’Azzuno. “This is Salvo,” she said as the young boy got into the back of Cola’s car. “But we call him Bianchi, and he doesn’t speak much English.”

Bianchi turned out to be eighteen, but his small size made him look much younger. Cola had been right; there was no doubt that he was beautiful, with a delicate face, inquisitive dark eyes, a dainty nose, and thick black hair. He nodded, sat beside me without saying a word, and put earbuds in to listen to music on his phone.

We drove to the UCI multiplex on Via Monte Amiata to see Caught Stealing, or as it’s known in Italian, Una Scomoda Circostanza, starring Austin Butler, whom I found both weird-looking and handsome at the same time.

Cola and Cinzia sat together while I was between Cinzia and her brother. I tried to make small talk with Bianchi, but the language barrier proved difficult, and we both fell into awkward silence before the movie started.

Caught Stealing had been dubbed into Italian, which put me at a disadvantage because I struggled to follow the narrative. Cola had suggested we go to a smaller cinema where it was being shown in its original form with subtitles, but I thought this would be unfair to them.

The tradition of dubbing English-speaking movies into Italian dates back to a time when most of the population was illiterate and struggled with subtitles. Mussolini’s government saw dubbing as an opportunity to control foreign content, and the rise of the industry with skilled voice actors has persisted ever since.

I cast furtive glances at Bianchi, who seemed distracted, disinterested, and perhaps even guarded. Once or twice, he looked my way and smiled with embarrassment, but for the most part, he looked away.

He was a beautiful boy, but Cola’s sly yet playful attempt at matchmaking was never going to work because of the age difference.

Afterwards, we went for coffee. Cola and Cinzia spoke in English, and Bianchi listened and smiled as though he was part of the conversation. There were fleeting glimpses of curiosity and connection. What had begun as a seemingly casual setup gradually revealed the possibility of a deeper attraction, or at least a moment of recognition between us.

Straight Out of Verona – Part 4 – El Cordobés


The night was still young as I sat quietly on the terrace, immersed in a book I had recently purchased from a second-hand bookstore back home. The book in question was an English translation of Oriana Fallaci’s work, originally titled Gli Antipatici and published in 1963. My edition bore the name Limelighters, and the author had thoughtfully explained that the Italian title did not lend itself to an easy English translation. According to Fallaci, “When Italians say antipatico, antipatici in the plural, they mean someone that they dislike on sight, and so if I was forced to choose a translation for antipatico, I would say unlikeable.” This explanation, rather than clarifying matters for me, added to my confusion, especially as I struggled to grasp Italian nuances.

The book is a collection of interviews with notable personalities; all recorded for the Rome newspaper L’Europeo using a portable tape-recorder. It begins with the line, “Many of the characters who figure in this book are my friends.” Fallaci proceeds to write friendly and insightful pieces about the stars of her era, including Bergman, Fellini, Hitchcock, and Connery. My bewilderment stemmed from the apparent contradiction between the book’s title and the content, which was anything but unlikeable in its tone and approach.

Most of the fifteen personalities featured in the book, along with Fallaci herself, have since passed away. The chapter that resonated most with me focused on El Cordobés, the Spanish matador and actor, who was still alive. Fallaci masterfully depicted his wild lifestyle: “he buys lined and squared exercise books, but then leaves them blank,” a habit I found relatable. She described him as being constantly surrounded by an eclectic group—banderilleros, priests, lawyers, in-laws, guitarists, boys from his cuadrilla, photographers, chauffeurs, Frenchmen intent on writing his biography, and a brunette whom he had just picked up in Granada. By tomorrow, he would have grown tired of her, and another would take her place. El Cordobés’s story captivated me; I imagined myself as one of the jealous boys from his cuadrilla.

At around seven o’clock, Cola called and mentioned that he was taking Cinzia to see a film, asking if I would like to join them. I declined, but he persisted, suggesting that my presence might encourage Cinzia’s younger brother to come along. “Bel ragazzo,” he confided with a wink.

Wearing an Inter football shirt, he showed little urgency in leaving and spent time browsing magazines before casually flicking through the international edition of the New York Times, which failed to capture his interest.

Cola never displayed any reservations about my homosexuality, even though I had kept this aspect of my life hidden from him when he was younger. I recall being invited to dinner by Signora Bruschi when Cola was about fifteen. After we had finished our Bistecca alla fiorentina, Cola rested his chin in his hands and, with the innocence of a choirboy, asked, “Is it true that you like to fuck boys?”

Straight Out of Verona – Part 3 – Cinzia

I had never been to Lake Garda before, and I was surprised by how much it reminded me of the coast. The water was a soft turquoise, rippling with silver and white crests. The hills rolled gently, dotted with olive groves and cypresses. Braccobaldo Beach turned out to be a mix of pastel colours – terracotta roofs, lemon-yellow houses, pale pink facades – and construction sites.

Cola took me to the pebbly beach where his friends hung out and introduced me to Leo and Sandro. His girlfriend, Cinzia, came from San Giorgio in Salici. She relaxed on a sun lounger, attracting attention from cheeky young Italian boys who had arrived on scooters. Cola sat glaring at them, but he needn’t have worried because it was obvious that Cinzia was in love with him. She spoke in English (because it was better than my Italian) and wanted my views about Donald Trump and Giorgia Meloni, who she plainly didn’t like.

Cinzia asked what I did for a living, and I told her that I was a writer, which sounded grander than it was meant to be. I explained that the novel I was writing, if it ever got published, would struggle to sell because only romantic fiction was keeping the book market alive. She raised an eyebrow when I told her that people had moved on from Harry Potter and were now interested in raunchy romantasy books.

The boys went swimming in the lake, and we watched as they grappled and tried to duck each other underwater. These were the last antics of teenage boys, a final celebration before they became men. All three were dark and handsome, but skinny Cola towered above the others. They had known each other since school, Cinzia told me, and were inseparable, but that was about to change. Leo was training for the army, Sandro was joining the Carabinieri, but she was unsure what the future held for Cola.

I asked how he was able to afford a brand new Abarth 500, and she laughed. It was not his car; it belonged to a signor from Torricelle who liked Cola and let him use the car in exchange for doing jobs around his big house in the hills. Cola was very skilful, she said, and could put his mind to anything that involved manual work. He was not, she added with sarcasm, very good academically. And she worried about what might happen if the signor dispensed with his services.

Straight Out of Verona – Part 2 – Cola

Nicola – Charlie Marseiiles

When I crawled into bed, it was so hot and humid that I struggled to sleep, making do with an electric fan and open windows. But Verona came alive early and just as I was about to drop off, the traffic, and sirens from the ‘ambulanzas’ on route to Borgo Trento, denied me the pleasure.

I blinked through the morning until there was a polite knock. Fragmented dreams stumbled into consciousness. I tried to ignore the short taps, but whoever it was wasn’t going to go away. I climbed out of bed, with eyes that felt like sandpaper, and opened the door.

It was Cola. “Buongiorno,” he quipped. “My mother told me that you had returned.” I let him inside and noticed how tall he had become. He frowned at my unruly appearance and held up a bag of fresh cornetti. “I shall make coffee, and you must tell me where you have been for so long.” 

I had known Signora Bruschi’s son since he was fifteen, from days when the skinny boy sat on the front doorstep and made cheeky remarks to ladies who passed by. His mother warned him that it was not how good catholic boys behaved but she already knew that Nicola was a lost cause. “He takes after his father,” she had confided, “and has such a violent temper.”

Cola had taken a shine to me after I’d stayed here the first time. He waltzed in and out and helped himself to the contents of the fridge. Then he would beg me to play football with him on the campo giochi until the light started to fade. “He treats you like a big brother,” Signora Bruschi told me. “You are a hero to him, and I pray to St. Gianna Beretta Molla that he will follow your good ways.” The fact that I hadn’t kept in touch bothered me.

Cola was eighteen now, still skinny, but he towered above me. I pulled on a tee shirt and sat at the table while he made coffee. 

“What have you got planned for today?” I had hoped to wander through the day without an agenda but sensed that this might be about to change. 

“Nothing,” I volunteered. 

“Then let me take you out in my new car.”

Cola’s strong coffee wasn’t to my taste. I would have preferred a latte but Italians regard this as sacrilege and so I accepted it without comment. 

“My mother says that you have a French boyfriend.” He waited for an answer, but I didn’t respond.

The truth is, I’d argued with Charlie before coming here and was annoyed with him. When he snapped at me, I’d matched his gallic temperament with a dose of Anglo-Saxon home truths. Afterwards, he had sullenly caught the Eurostar to Paris, and I had come to Verona, to the apartment that was rarely used. 

Buckle up, hot shot. Time to take flight… and land with impact.

Cola’s new car turned out to be a bright yellow Abarth 500 that he drove too fast. I tried to ignore his erratic driving as I did the alarm bells that were hammering inside my head. How many teenagers could afford a car like this? As far as I was aware, Cola didn’t have a regular job, and I feared that he was mixing with the wrong people, something that was easy to do in Italy.

Straight Out of Verona – Part 1 – The Arrival

Ponte Pietra – Verona

The apartment has stood empty for fourteen months. Now I return to it, in a city smothered with sunlight and heat, a place where distractions fall away. Here, I will write of the world I have just left, the world to which I must soon return—dragging up stories from a cemetery of memories. I have always written best from the outside, peering in.

At night the air thickens, heavy and damp. Through the high windows of this old townhouse I look out, remembering what happened here long ago. A man stabbed in the heart with a kitchen knife, left to rot for weeks before anyone noticed, the flies devouring him first. Signora Bruschi, who has scoured the floors and scrubbed the walls, insists it was not in these rooms.

I do not believe her. Yet under the pale wash of moonlight, in a room fragrant with flowers tumbling from the iron balcony, the truth hardly matters. I hum softly to myself, listening to the percolating hiss of coffee on the stove, until the first birdsong threads through the great London Plane outside—the one whose trunk carries the carved names of lovers and bored teenagers.

I take my place on the terrace beneath its green-striped awning, my Chromebook open beside a steaming bowl of carrot cream soup from the little shop on Via Giuseppe Cesare Abba. Overhead, a man and woman murmur in their rooms. Strangers still, but as the night deepens their voices taper into silence.

Sometime after midnight, Charlie’s message arrives from Paris. He is staying there with his family for a few days. Tonight he tells me he walked to the site of the old Hôpital Broussais – not in search of medicine, but to stand on the ground where Jean-Paul Sartre once drew his final breath.