Author Archives: Delicto

Charlie / Erastes and the Eromenos

Image: Les amitiés particulières (1964). Directed by Jean Delannoy

It was the last night of our short seaside holiday and Charlie decided that it would be a good idea to stream a movie. He spent well over an hour flicking through Netflix and Prime Video until my patience finally ran out.

“Charlie, we will soon have spent as long looking for a movie than it would to watch one.” He stopped flicking. “Then I shall choose this one, and if you do not like it, I shall not be held responsible,” he said petulantly.

The movie he chose was in black and white and called This Special Friendship. It soon became apparent that it was old (1964), and in French, which delighted Charlie, but the English subtitles would soon annoy him, while I would be annoyed with Charlie for moaning about them.

“It is called Les amitiés particulières, which means ‘special friendships’, but the English cannot translate it correctly,” he told me. “The synopsis is simple. It is set in the rigid atmosphere of a Jesuit boarding school and is a tender relationship between a 14-year-old upperclassman and a 12-year-old boy, who is the object of his desire.” Charlie’s expertise had come after consulting his iPhone.

The movie seemed harmless enough, and because it was made in the 1960s was tame when compared to boy-love movies of today, but after only a few minutes Charlie tutted with disdain. “The character of Georges is supposed to be 14 years old,” he said, “but he looks like he is older than me.” I later found out that the actor, Francis Lacombrade, according to one source, had been 21, but others stated that he had been 17. 

Charlie’s derision intensified when the object of his desire appeared for the first time. He was a small cupid-faced boy carrying a lamb which we presumed was meant to be the symbolism of Jesus Christ as the Lamb of God. “Bordel de merde! Please tell me that this boy isn’t going to be his lover.” His fears proved to be correct, and I agreed that the age difference was disturbing. 

He was called Alexandre, who turned out to be a bit of a cock-tease for Georges, but the romance mainly involved love letters passed between the two of them. The relationship is destroyed by a priest’s will to protect them from homosexuality. “We know why he did that,” said Charlie knowingly. “That priest wanted his wicked way with the little boy.” That wasn’t the case, but there were no happy endings, because heartbroken Alexandre jumped to his death from a moving train.

“The movie was good,” Charlie said afterwards, “but I found it troubling.” I agreed and began my own internet search to see what people thought about it. I was surprised to find that modern-day audiences seem unperturbed by the subject matter but could see that the Catholic Church had tried unsuccessfully to get it banned on its release. 

Charlie disappeared into the kitchen while I fell down a rabbit hole as I dug deeper into the movie’s background. When he returned with two mugs of tea I told him my findings. 

“I’ve found things that  might upset you even more.”

“What do you mean?”

“The movie is based on a book written by a French author called Roger Peyrefitte and is said to be autobiographical because he had a similar romance, and the younger boy committed suicide.” My pronunciation was poor, and it came out as Pay-ri-fit.

Charlie corrected me. “Pey-ri-fee.” He stretched on the leather sofa and mulled over my new-found knowledge.

“But there is more,” I said, scrolling down the page of a French literary site. “Peyrefitte visited the movie set  and fell in love with a 12-year-old boy who played a small part as a choir boy. They had a relationship, and the boy became his personal secretary and was eventually adopted by him.”

“It is Greek love,” Charlie frowned. “Erastes and Eromenos. What happened to them?”

“The boy was called Alain-Philippe Malagnac d’Argens de Villèle.” My English pronunciation left a lot to be desired, but Charlie looked at me as though I had said something significant.

“Alain-Philippe Malagnac?”

“I suppose so.”

“It cannot be the same person,” he cried, “but my father once knew somebody with that name.”

I continued reading. 

“Malagnac became proprietor of Le Club Colony in Paris and briefly managed French singer Sylvie Vertan but it almost bankrupted Peyrefitte and forced him to sell artworks and erotic antiques.”

“The Alaine-Philippe Malagnac that my father knew was married to Amanda Leah, who he believes to really be a man, but a gay icon. He died in a fire near the Alpilles Mountains.”

I saved my pièce de résistance until last.

“Malagnac married Amanda Lear in 1979. She was close friends with Salvador Dali, who disapproved of the marriage.”

Charlie smiled triumphantly. “That is incredible. I cannot wait to tell my father, but what shall I say?” He began fiddling inside his shorts, something he tended to do when he mulled things over. At last, he came to a decision. “I will not say anything because he will become worried that I might also be seduced by an older man.”

I smiled. “I think it is most likely to be the other way around.”

Image: Les amitiés particulières (1964). Directed by Jean Delannoy

Colvey / I know why you are such a bitch to the boys

Image: Lucas Barski

Colvey

There are things that people don’t know about you. And if they did, it’s unlikely that they would believe it.

The council house scruffs who think you are fucking cool in your Hoodrich gear. You talk to them like shit, and they are so thick, that even though they are scared, they think it is only a game.

But I know why you treat them so badly and keep them in their place.

I know your dark secret.

It is something that you don’t want them to know, and if they did, you know that you are finished.

Charlie / If I could be, for an hour, every day, cute, but stupid all the same

Image: Jacques Brel

Charlie had been watching movies on TV and hadn’t gone to bed until three o’clock in the morning. This was normal, but he wasn’t used to me waking him up six hours later. I reminded him that he was due to meet Leon at ten for his photo shoot. Only the top of his head could be seen from under the covers and his hair stuck up at all angles. He was barely communicative and answered with strange little noises that sounded kind of cute. 

Ten minutes later I had to tell him again that he had to get up. “It’s like trying to sleep in the Gare du Nord,” he moaned. There was then a frantic rush to shower and make himself look beautiful, not helped by the fact that in this rented holiday cottage the bathroom was downstairs while his clothes were upstairs. 

I stayed out of the way and flicked through an old antiques magazine that was at least ten years old. Things appeared to be going well because when Charlie was in a good mood he would start singing Jacques Brel songs in French and I could hear the words to La Chanson de Jacky through the floorboards that had wide gaps between them.

“Même si on m’appelle Antonio
Que je brûle mes derniers feux
En échange de quelques cadeaux
Madame, oh madame, je fais ce que je peux.”

Leon had arranged to meet Charlie outside Dolly’s Vintage Tea Room, but I’d been warned to stay away. He reasoned that my presence would cause him embarrassment. My day was going to be spent wandering around this small fishing village while trying not to spend money that I didn’t have. 

“This is going to be interesting,” Charlie said as he drank the remains of his tea (white with two sweeteners). “Leon takes photographs of different subjects, but his speciality is taking pictures of dead birds and the occasional dead rat.

You had your chance and you didn’t want it

Image: Archer Iñíguez

He stood next to his girlfriend and I couldn’t help looking at him. Discreetly like. But Matchstick Man had clocked me and looked at me like I’d done something incredibly bad. I wanted to shout, “Fuck you, Matchstick Man, you had your chance!” Instead, I went bright red and looked at my phone where an app nudged a virtual taxi nearer towards me. Sometimes thinking about it is better than doing it.

I told him I had a strange dream last night, and he said, “I know, I was there”

Image: Riccardo de Rinaldis Santorelli

Who were you in my dream last night? We wandered barefoot through empty streets and drank in dirty bars. It was a good feeling, and we said we’d do it again. Yet, when I awakened, I wasn’t sure who you were. I thought I knew you but didn’t know where from. Were you a missed opportunity, who’d come to remind me that you might once have existed? So many questions. Be calm, be tender, and maybe I’ll love, I decided.

Stolen Words / “The iPhone Has Taken Over”

Image: Interview Magazine April 2025

Photographer Arthur Elgort talking with his daughter, Sarah Elgort, for Interview Magazine, April 18, 2025.

Image: The Family Portrait / Arthur Elgort (2016)


That Moment / He almost ended up with his happily ever after

Image: Archer Iñíguez

A twinkle of imagination. A scattering of angel dust. The glow of the pedalo boy, with gorgeous dark legs and dirty underwear, who stared into the sun and saw the shadow of an indecent stranger.

Charlie / There was once a time when I couldn’t draw


Charlie looked admiringly at the sketch.. “When I was a small child I got into trouble at school for drawing a picture of a naked man with a 20 inch dick. Not by desire, but by terrible proportion.”

A cream-filled, drug-hazed memory of a nineties Saturday night

Image: Archer Iñíguez

Saturday slaughter. Pumped up courage. Vodka fuelled Valkyries. Vanilla Valentines. Red Hot Chilli Poppers. Up and down. Cock teasers. Blonde bullshitters. Fag filled fags. Sweaty sex toys. Blue Adonis in Disco Cop. Twink paradise. Twink hell . Be damned by Twinkdom. Boys to men. Romeo, Romeo, Where the fuck are you Romeo? Smooth skinned sluts. Spray tan twiglets. Ba lamb babies. If you could read my mind, love. What a tale my thoughts could tell. Just like an old time movie. A movie that plays every Saturday. The boy shouts louder and louder. What’s he gonna look like with a chimney on him? Up and Down. An ecstasy-stained erotic dream. Screaming queens and disco lights. Screaming queens and fist fights. Shy guys and sly guys. Sugar daddies and fairy cakes. I need you. I want you. I can’t have you. No matter how hard I try, you keep pushing me aside, and I can’t break through. Listen to me. I can’t see through the smoke. There’s no talking to you. The Vengabus is coming. And everybody’s jumping. But you’re not coming. Do you believe in life after love? I can feel something inside me say, I really don’t think you’re strong enough. Robin Hood and his band of boyfriend thieves. Cry babies. Jelly babies. Dolly mixtures. Sun up. Slow down. Come down. Vamos a jugar en el sol. Todos los días son días de fiesta. Vamos a jugar en el sol. Todos los días son días de fiesta. Sex in a Ford Fiesta. Sexy, everything about you so sexy. 

Life is too short to waste on people who don’t respect anybody else

Image: Matt Cardy/Getty


Respect. That’s what it all comes down to. Respect one another and don’t be a shit about it. That’s what I’ll tell a police officer if I get caught. It isn’t likely to happen, because they know about me, and don’t have the inclination to do anything about it. They respect me, and I respect them. That’s why they look the other way. After all, our ways and means are basically the same, and I do things that they’d like to do, but aren’t able to.