Category Archives: Life Story

You want them to be yours, but they’re not, and never will be

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Image: Alex Avgud

If someone asked me who the love of my life was, it would be the one that I’ve been waiting 15 years for. That’s how long my infatuation has lasted. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for him to realise that I am the one. But he knows all this, and isn’t in the slightest bit interested. It’s emotionally painful and challenging, and my resolve never weakens, but I know that it was never meant to be. I console myself with the things that are wrong about him. He is tall, blonde and lanky and everybody says that he has a tiny dick. He can be quite nasty. He spends money he probably doesn’t have. He is disorganised and incredibly untidy. And there’s the annoyance that everything is handed to him on a plate. A relationship would never have worked, and this one-sided love is best left unfulfilled. But despite all these flaws, love can be irrational, broken but still loved.

Down and dirty with sexual sneakers

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Image: Rai Fiction and Picomedia.

A pair of well-worn sneakers, tied to bars with greasy laces, fingered by the grubby hands of a bad boy, just hanging there. A pair of cheap sneakers blowing in the wind. And yet, I can’t stop looking at them. Worn by a cute deadbeat with dirty feet. It’s a kink, a fetish, a desire to lust after.

“Selfies have begun to replace memories – likes and comments have begun to replace lasting conversations”

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Image: Unsplash

Selfies are often saying, “I was here,” “I’m attractive,” or “I’m interesting and successful.” But selfies also say, “I think I’m beautiful,” “I’m trying to make you jealous,” or “I’m trying to get lots of likes.” Selfies are bad, but mirror selfies are even worse. 

Title quote – Abhijit Naskar, The Gospel of Technology

Colvey / I know why you are such a bitch to the boys

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Image: Lucas Barski

Colvey

There are things that people don’t know about you. And if they did, it’s unlikely that they would believe it.

The council house scruffs who think you are fucking cool in your Hoodrich gear. You talk to them like shit, and they are so thick, that even though they are scared, they think it is only a game.

But I know why you treat them so badly and keep them in their place.

I know your dark secret.

It is something that you don’t want them to know, and if they did, you know that you are finished.

You had your chance and you didn’t want it

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Image: Archer Iñíguez

He stood next to his girlfriend and I couldn’t help looking at him. Discreetly like. But Matchstick Man had clocked me and looked at me like I’d done something incredibly bad. I wanted to shout, “Fuck you, Matchstick Man, you had your chance!” Instead, I went bright red and looked at my phone where an app nudged a virtual taxi nearer towards me. Sometimes thinking about it is better than doing it.

I told him I had a strange dream last night, and he said, “I know, I was there”

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Image: Riccardo de Rinaldis Santorelli

Who were you in my dream last night? We wandered barefoot through empty streets and drank in dirty bars. It was a good feeling, and we said we’d do it again. Yet, when I awakened, I wasn’t sure who you were. I thought I knew you but didn’t know where from. Were you a missed opportunity, who’d come to remind me that you might once have existed? So many questions. Be calm, be tender, and maybe I’ll love, I decided.

That Moment / He almost ended up with his happily ever after

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Image: Archer Iñíguez

A twinkle of imagination. A scattering of angel dust. The glow of the pedalo boy, with gorgeous dark legs and dirty underwear, who stared into the sun and saw the shadow of an indecent stranger.

A cream-filled, drug-hazed memory of a nineties Saturday night

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Image: Archer Iñíguez

Saturday slaughter. Pumped up courage. Vodka fuelled Valkyries. Vanilla Valentines. Red Hot Chilli Poppers. Up and down. Cock teasers. Blonde bullshitters. Fag filled fags. Sweaty sex toys. Blue Adonis in Disco Cop. Twink paradise. Twink hell . Be damned by Twinkdom. Boys to men. Romeo, Romeo, Where the fuck are you Romeo? Smooth skinned sluts. Spray tan twiglets. Ba lamb babies. If you could read my mind, love. What a tale my thoughts could tell. Just like an old time movie. A movie that plays every Saturday. The boy shouts louder and louder. What’s he gonna look like with a chimney on him? Up and Down. An ecstasy-stained erotic dream. Screaming queens and disco lights. Screaming queens and fist fights. Shy guys and sly guys. Sugar daddies and fairy cakes. I need you. I want you. I can’t have you. No matter how hard I try, you keep pushing me aside, and I can’t break through. Listen to me. I can’t see through the smoke. There’s no talking to you. The Vengabus is coming. And everybody’s jumping. But you’re not coming. Do you believe in life after love? I can feel something inside me say, I really don’t think you’re strong enough. Robin Hood and his band of boyfriend thieves. Cry babies. Jelly babies. Dolly mixtures. Sun up. Slow down. Come down. Vamos a jugar en el sol. Todos los días son días de fiesta. Vamos a jugar en el sol. Todos los días son días de fiesta. Sex in a Ford Fiesta. Sexy, everything about you so sexy. 

Life is too short to waste on people who don’t respect anybody else

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Image: Matt Cardy/Getty


Respect. That’s what it all comes down to. Respect one another and don’t be a shit about it. That’s what I’ll tell a police officer if I get caught. It isn’t likely to happen, because they know about me, and don’t have the inclination to do anything about it. They respect me, and I respect them. That’s why they look the other way. After all, our ways and means are basically the same, and I do things that they’d like to do, but aren’t able to.

That Moment / Actually, I do happen to resemble a hallucination

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Image: Archer Iñíguez

A baseball cap and a touch of peach fuzz on his chin. He sat at the bar and I saw flashes of flesh around his ankles. At that moment, he might have been the sexiest person in the world. But then he started talking to somebody who wasn’t there, and argued with somebody else who wasn’t there either. He didn’t say anything to me and I WAS there, but I was grateful for that.