Charlie is in Barcelona for the week. He messaged to say that he’d been on the beach, but it was colder than he’d expected. He made no mention of what he’d been doing at night, but described a black eye he was nursing without saying how he’d got it. Levi said that Charlie was either shagging or was lovesick for him.

The apartment seemed quiet without him, and I kept looking at the unfinished paintings scattered across the floor. 

On Sunday night, Levi, the Polish boy with the broad Yorkshire accent, suggested that we should go into town. I’d heard stories that his boisterous behaviour often leads to the unexpected, but I reluctantly agreed.

We visited bar after bar, Levi leading the way, and he knew every doorman and bartender. He was never once asked to show his ID, while I had to keep showing my driving licence to prove that I was far too old to be going into these venues.

After losing count of the number of Vodka and Cokes we’d drank, Levi suggested that we had a Tiki Fire which turned out to be a spiced rum with an eye-watering 75 per cent alcohol content. He downed his in one, while I made several attempts to swallow mine.

“Did you know that Charlie has an Instagram account?”

“Doesn’t everyone,” I replied.

“Yes, but did you know that he posts raunchy photos of himself and has about ten million followers?”

“No,” I said, and started searching for his page online. I couldn’t find it, and asked Levi to help. He couldn’t find it on my phone either.

“He’s blocked you.”

“Why would he do that?”

“Because he doesn’t want you to see it.”

I felt a little hurt at this revelation but asked myself whether I would want to see it or not. I decided that I did.

“I’ll show it to you if you want,” said Levi, and within seconds had Charlie’s page up on his iPhone. 

“Hasn’t he blocked you too?”

“No. He wants me to see it because he loves me.”

I scrolled down and was shocked (and impressed) to see Charlie in various stages of undress. The manipulated backgrounds made the photos look quite arty when they had obviously been taken in the secrecy of his bedroom.

“I had no idea,” I said.

“Put your eyes away and don’t tell him that I’ve shown you.”

When I have too much to drink, I tend to get mardy, and this was one of those occasions. I wanted to message Charlie and ask him why he’d blocked me, but I remembered my golden rule of never messaging or posting anything on social media when I’m drunk.

Alcohol also makes every guy that I look at appear more desirable than they are. 

The Tiki Fire had made Levi even bouncier, but I could feel every drop of it going to my head. We went to sit in a quiet corner while I chewed over Charlie’s Instagram account.

I looked at Levi and realised that he was good looking and at that moment I was in love with him. .

“One day I’ll take you to bed,” I told him.

He thought he’d misheard me and asked me to repeat what I’d said.

“I said that I like the idea of sleeping with you.”

“Oh,” was all he could say.

“Did you hear me?”

“I did,” he replied, “but we’ll have to see what happens.”

“Is that all you can say?”

“There is a problem,” he said, “and I want to stay faithful to my girlfriend.”

“You have a girlfriend?”

“Yeah, but I thought that you knew.”

“This is a night of surprises,” I said disappointed.

“Like I said, we’ll have to see.”

“I’m going outside for a cigarette.”

I got up from my seat and almost stumbled over a stool. I tried to walk towards the door in a straight line, but I was fooling no one. 

After putting the cigarette in my mouth, the wrong way round, I realised that Levi had followed me.

“Are you okay? I hope I didn’t upset you.”

“Not at all,” I said. “Why would you think that you’d upset me?”

“I thought that you might have been expecting something that I can’t give you.”

“Oh my God! I was only joking with you, ” I lied, “and I’m really pleased that you have a girlfriend.”

I smiled, but it was a fake smile, and Levi’s face suggested that he didn’t believe me. Far from being my normal collected self, I’d been a fool, and left Levi feeling very uneasy.

“Let’s have another drink,” and he patted me on the cheek. That was about all I was going to get off him.

He went back inside, and I messaged Charlie.

“Did you know that Levi is straight and has a girlfriend?” 

Charlie didn’t reply, but I knew that he’d be devastated when he saw the message, and that’s what I wanted.