Category Archives: Life Story

The thrill is gone / It’s gone away from me

Ode to Saltburn / Murder on the Dancefloor

That Moment/ I am still sitting here

That Moment / I pretend I am on Snapchat

Image: Darkness Drops

The boy is short. The boy is cute. He is cheeky. He is tired, and sucks his thumb. He keeps looking. I took a photo of him on my phone. I look up and I realise that he’s taking a photo of me too. I smile at my phone and pretend I’m on Snapchat. He does the same.

Happening All Over Again

Thomas gave me a present. It was a disposable vape with ten thousand puffs and tasted of pineapple lemon. I must get out of the mindset that this small gift means something. After all, we’ve hated each other for fifteen years, and one kind gesture means nothing, but it was nice.

Today, I visited a new Scandinavian Cafe a few streets away and thought that this would be a good place to write the book that I will call ‘Loving Thomas’. I also thought it a good place to invite him one afternoon.

We’ve realised that we work well together and are an impressive team, but I’m reminded of a Lonnie Gordon song from 1990 that was called ‘Happening All Over Again’.

I remember you as you were


To those who came before,
Memory did not age us.
You did not grow old.
I remember you as you were.

The years dimmed the soul,
And the intoxicated dreams.

To those with dark hair,
And blonde hair,
And somewhere in between.

To those who came and went,
That looked like angels.
Fresh and slender,
With charms and flaws.
I remember you as you were.

Time is not kind,
It stole the looks,
It disguised the figure,
It aged the soul.
The handsome heroes departed.

Sweet youth blown away.
I might recognise you now,
But I choose not to.
Because I remember you as you were.

And love, love is on it’s way

That Moment / Little boys grow up to have problems too

His head was shrouded in cigarette smoke, and when it cleared, it was a frightened face that peered from the hoodie. His eyes were sore from crying and my heart went out to him.

I’d heard stories about people like this, and the extreme measures they might go to. I tried to put him out of my mind and walked past, but the voice of a concerned mother called out for her little boy. I went back and asked him if he was okay.

There was pleading in those troubled eyes, and I realised that little boys grow up to have problems too. He told me that he was fine, and I asked if there was anything I could do to help. He shook his head and stared at the puddle where he’d tossed his fag end.

I wanted to stay longer and help, but I didn’t. These were conflicting emotions, guilt, curiosity, embarrassment. I wanted to put my arm around him and tell him that everything would be fine, but I walked away.

A trembling voice shouted thank you, and I prayed that he would soon find the happiness that had abandoned him.

That Moment / Look at it from my point of view

Passing your time looking at a screen