Tag Archives: Book

Tsundoku / That pile of books you glance at every day, but never read


I once read André Aciman’s Homo Irrealis: Essays, and to be honest, it was a difficult read, partly because I didn’t understand what the hell he was talking about. Aciman’s approach to fiction is different, and I bought The Gentleman from Peru for Charlie, the French boy who once met the author, and wanted it because it was a signed copy. He keeps reminding me that I once had an original copy of Call Me By Your Name that I inexplicably threw away. I read The Gentleman from Peru because Charlie never will. His attention wanders after a few chapters, and that is why we are left with shelves of half-read books with slips of paper showing how far he got. But after finishing this book, I realise that this is more of a novella, and if Charlie is ever going to finish a book, this might be the one. 

Stolen Words / The present was only a duplicate of the past

I bought a book for £6.99 that was only thirty-five pages long. It was so short that I read it in a hot bath in only ten minutes. But I liked the cover, and what I read resonated with me.

Things like:

“I was aware that this entailed a kind of cruelty towards this younger man who was doing things for the first time. Invariably when he spoke of his plans for a future with me, I replied, ‘The present is enough,’ never mentioning that for me the present was only a duplicate of the past.”

and,

“The people he greeted on the street were always young, often other students. When he stopped to talk, I stood aside; they watched me sidelong. He tore me away from my generation, but I was not part of his.”

The Young Man / Annie Ernaux / 2022

Stolen words/Look at him, he really is magnificent

Studio Portrait III/Keith Vaughan/c1938

“I live in Paris. I am a pupil at the Louis-le-Grand. I am sixteen. People say: what a beautiful child! Look at him, he really is magnificent. Black hair. Green, almond-shaped eyes. A girl’s complexion. I say: they are mistaken, I am no longer a child.”

In the Absence of Men/Philippe Besson/2001

Andrew McCarthy/Maybe you didn’t want it

Brat: an 80’s story/Andrew McCarthy/2021

If I’d been a member of the Brat Pack, I would have wanted to have been Rob Lowe. But I was more like Andrew McCarthy.

He wasn’t handsome, nor was he a good actor. I wasn’t handsome either, or ever been an actor.

Underneath that cute shyness he was an outsider, not liked by his contemporaries, and he was resentful, and probably not a nice person.

“Early on in The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald describes the character Tom Buchanan as a ‘national figure in a way, one of those men who reach such an acute limited excellence at twenty-one that everything afterward savours of anti-climax.’”

Now we know the truth.

McCarthy thought he could deal with fame, but wasn’t able to, and lived by the bottle. And this meant that once he’d peaked at a young age it was downhill. And then, by his own choice, it ended.

“Maybe you didn’t want it,” Alec Baldwin said to him on the Here’s the Thing podcast without realising he’d come closer to the core than McCarthy ever had.

I’m not sure I liked him after reading this, but he writes clearly and honestly, and afterwards I realised that we were alike after all.

He might not have been a nice person, but I suspect he might be now.