“Grab a cushion and sit down. Make yourself at home. Feel free to trash the place.”

These words from a famous old actress. Not ancient like Maggie Smith, but seasoned nevertheless, and we were in her rented apartment.

Our actress was in the provinces, biding time before the next big one.

“I’ve so enjoyed this past week,” and she poured me a large whisky.

We’d met in a bar, and I knew exactly who she was. And she’d sat down beside me and talked about her career.

We became good friends…. for that week at least.

She told me that she’d been asked to join ‘I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!” and I said not to do it, and she took my advice.

And that became the routine. Meet in the bar, back to hers, and talk until night turned into day.

A week later, she’d gone.

We kept in touch for a time, and then the messages stopped.

A few years later, I contacted her to say I was in London to see her show.

“How marvellous to hear from you again. That’s fantastic news. Make sure you come and see me in the bar afterwards. x.”

And I did. I waited in the tiny bar alongside celebrities who crowded around her when she eventually appeared. They told her how wonderful she was, and she loved it.

“Thank you darling. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. It was nothing really.”

I waited to speak to her, and when I did, she looked at me as though she’d met me for the first time.

I told her who I was. She pretended to know me. I knew she was high on adrenaline, or something else.

“It’s so good to see you again,” she said. And I thought, fuck you!

I asked the barman to take a photo on my phone. He obliged and on it you’ll see that I’m smiling, but at that moment, I was probably the better actor.

A man came over and spoke to her.

“Is there a problem here?”

“No darling, only a fan” And she turned to me and said, “But if you’ll excuse me, I must speak to somebody.”

I left, found another bar, and ordered a large cocktail.

I thought a lot about her.

She’d been a lonely individual in a strange city with nobody to manipulate that ego. I’d been the antidote to that. A friend for hire.

But back in London, with people she was comfortable with, I wasn’t needed, nor remembered, and certainly not welcome.

“Never forget where you came from and who helped you get there.” 

Yesterday I saw somebody I knew but didn’t like.

“It’s so good to see you again,” I lied.