Tag Archives: storytelling

That moment / Bleddy ‘ansum that is / He might have been a boy of the boats

The man in the antique shop was fucking annoying. I thought his presence was because he thought I was going to nick something, but it was because he was an arrogant prick. 

I stared at an eighties promo photo of Madonna that had seventy five smackers on it. “I’ve got three signed Madonna photos,” the guy said. “Are you interested in pop memorabilia? I can find some exciting stuff for you.”

Madonna never signed anything. I ignored him and walked towards a pile of old Rupert annuals instead. 

“Do you like Green Day?”

Fuck me, I thought. But when I looked around he was speaking to somebody else. “I once played on stage with them.”

“Really?” said a female voice. Don’t be such a fucking gullible cunt, I thought.

All the while, the rain bounced onto the tin roof and gave another reason for people to avoid looking for antiques on Saturday afternoon. 

I migrated to the other end of the shop, and an alarm sounded that suggested I’d got too close to the office. The irritating shopkeeper peered from around a corner to see what I was doing. Satisfied that I was merely browsing, he turned his attention back to the unseen female. 

“Got it from the Marquee in London,” he bullshitted. “We cleared it out when it closed.” 

I hadn’t seen the girl, but her voice told me that she was probably a teenager. Naive enough to keep asking silly questions. But when the owner moved aside to let her escape, it was a young lad who appeared in front of the girl. The shopkeeper let him go, but wasn’t done with her yet, caging her in the corner to look at a pile of old pop art magazines. 

The lad walked straight to me and rolled his eyes, because we were both thinking the same. 

He was who I might describe as being typically Cornish. Where I came from his hat would have been called a beanie hat, but down here it would be referred to as belonging to a fisherman. And he wore waterproofs that made him look like he might be a boy of the boats.

He was slightly built, and there wasn’t much to see, except that fascinating face. Two things struck me about him, the green eyes and the downy chin of an adolescent boy whose beard had not yet developed.  

The lad picked up a wooden framed cameo of a small boy. “What do you think the story is? I think it’s Victorian.  A boy blessed to grow old and die. Bleddy ‘ansum that is. What are you interested in?”

I told him I liked old books.

“I’m an artist. Well, a student really. I come here for inspiration. Carve anything out of wood. See that figurehead outside. That’s what I really like.”

I had no idea what he was talking about, but he grabbed me by the arm and took me outside. 

“Fucking pizendawn out here. Have you got a cigarette?”

I offered him one from a pack of Marlboro Gold that had just cost me fifteen quid. We struggled to light them in the rain and cowered underneath a stone doorway instead.

“Can’t roll-up in the wet. See that beauty there?” He pointed to the nautical figurehead of a beautiful woman that stood outside the entrance. 

I hadn’t noticed it on my way into the shop. 

“From the prow of an old sailing ship. It embodied the spirit of the vessel, offering the crew protection from harsh seas and safeguarding their homeward journeys.”

The girl came outside looking for her boyfriend. 

“Got to go,” and covered his fisherman’s hat with the hood of his coat. “I’m on Insta. Cadan with an ‘a’. Look me up.”

I watched them negotiate puddles between parked cars and head towards the river. Boyfriend and girlfriend, braving the downpour and going home to a simplistic existence. Then they disappeared.

A year ago I met Samuel / His eyes should have been looking at books

I woke up and it was raining. I’m not bothered because the view from the window is different. Today I see rolling fields filled with sheep and lambs, hedgerows, and woodland. I could be in another time, but the telephone wires stretching across the landscape remind me that I’m not.

I’m far away from the music and lights that fill my normal existence. I’m also away from the mind-numbing shit that drunk people bore me with night after night. They have no idea where I am because I’ve deleted all my social media accounts.

That was the other day. 

In a fit of petulance I deleted Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, and with them went the people I’d loved and wanted, and failed to get. But I felt cleansed afterwards and everything seemed much simpler again.

Now I’m in a kitchen, in the middle of the countryside, not far away from the sea. It is wet outside. But nothing could be more pleasurable on a Saturday morning.

A year ago I sat in this same spot, opened my laptop, and wrote a short story. It was about a boy I‘d met in an old bookshop that day. There had been no conversation. The encounter lasted no more than five seconds, but his eyes, that should have been looking at books, looked into mine, and they unlocked something.

That boy, whom I called Samuel, made it the most perfect day. Since then, the creativity inside me has flowed like at no other time.

And now, I’m in this sacred spot again, writing about nothing of interest to anyone, but doing something that makes me happy. 

That moment / To the boy sleeping next to me

A bottle of Amstel. Or should I say several bottles. I remember that day well. It was a hot afternoon and the hot dry winds cut across the island. They were Meltemi winds. We were oblivious and both burned. When the evening came we tired and traipsed home past the parched olive trees to collapse on our separate beds. Our day ended early. I woke briefly as the Cretan skies darkened and looked to where you slept under those thin sheets. I thought about the things we had learned about each other. We both thought The Outsiders was our favourite movie, and we both loved Canadian Matured Cheddar. In that moment, between sleep and wakefulness, I thought you were the most beautiful person in the world.

This mysterious life / I think about Tom

What caused you to carve your name into the pavement? What is the story behind it? When did you do it?

Tom. Were you a young boy? A feat of bravado in front of friends, who watched in admiration as you scratched your name into history. It will be around for a long time, until somebody comes along and covers it in steaming new asphalt.

Will you grow up to have children of your own? Will you live in a sunny country and grow up sun tanned and estranged from this place? Will you remember that you once scraped your name in this tiny corner?

Tom. Are you the teenage boy who showed off in front of delinquent mates, or maybe it was the girl that you fancied? A girl to whom you had pathetic sex with because of those raging hormones. And this girl might have got pregnant at too young an age.

Are you the one who would never grow old because you got into a fight and somebody killed you with a knife, the blood from a wasted body spilling over the pavement and finding its way into the cracks of somebody else’s name?

Tom. I saw your name and won’t forget it. I will never meet you but will see you as I want to. A tall handsome blonde haired boy with blue eyes. You are probably very different but that doesn’t matter because you have fired the imaginations of others.

Bad Boy Jamie makes me punch my pillow in frustration

It is a quiet Tuesday and Bad Boy Jamie walks into the bar with his boyfriend. It is time for me to leave and I am about to book an Uber. That important moment comes when you either confirm the booking, or take the risk and stay. My finger hovers over the button, and Jamie whispers in my ear and tells me to stay because he has missed me. I don’t know what to do. I realise that I’ve missed him too, but I also now that he is a total cunt. I look at his messy hair, and unshaven face, and think that at that moment he is the handsomest guy imaginable. But I confirm the Uber booking and say that I have to go home. Later on he messages me and says that I am the only person he wants. I punch my pillow in frustration.

Bad boy Jamie: a flash of blade means a flash of leg

Bad boy Jamie comes in with a crowd, and he plays up to them. His boyfriend comes over and tells me that Jamie is a cunt because he is sleeping with somebody else. I hate to tell him that it is me. But the boyfriend is right. Jamie is a cunt.

Jamie looks over and pretends that I don’t exist. But that boyish charm and those tattoos still make me weak. And then, bad boy Jamie and his boyfriend start arguing about a lad called Jordan who Jamie has been sleeping with. I am hurt and jealous. They start fighting and I’m glad that I can sit in a corner and look at their life unravelling in front of me.

Bad boy Jamie, I do so think you are exciting.

I love the fact that you fight and carry a knife in your sock. A flash of blade means a flash of leg and that tattoo on your ankle that says ‘Jamie’.

The bad boy with tattoos reads classic literature

And you come to realise that appearances can be deceptive. The clean handsome boy turns out to be an alcoholic; the athlete is hooked on drugs; the sweet angel is a megalomaniac; the mean looking boy, with hoodie and sweatpants, turns out to be polite and eloquent; the bad boy with tattoos reads classic literature.

But you don’t care, sir

Herbert List. Nach dem Bade (After the bath) (1936)

I am flat, sir. I have been on charge for two years, and now I have overcharged. My battery is empty and I must charge it all the time because it drains too quickly. My battery needs to be repaired or replaced. But you don’t care, sir, because, in your eyes, your health is more important than is mine.