“The last time I did drugs I was in Las Vegas,” said Oliver.

“Well, Las Vegas is that way.”

“Are you offering to take me?”

I told him no.

And he said, “That’s a shame because I would have gone with you.”

I said I would take him to London instead.

“I’d like that just as long as I can take my skateboard.”

“Why do you want to take your skateboard?”

“How else do you think I got an ass like this.”