I heard Womack & Womack singing Teardrops.

“Footsteps on the dance floor, remind me baby of you,
Teardrops in my eyes, next time I’ll be true.”

Whenever I hear that song, I think of you. 

We heard them singing it live
and they wore yellow raincoats
because it was cold and rainy.

And that song still makes me think of you.

I ask myself questions.
How the fuck did we adopt you?
Where did you come from?

Blue jeans, leather jacket, and slicked back hair.
Skinny as a rake and nice legs that were shit at football.

We called you Boy.
Because you were young and cheeky,
naive, impressionable, eager,
and needed someone to look after you.

Things went wrong in London, 
something to do with drugs,
and you reached out to us.

We were the big brothers you never had.
Shaping your life, leading you astray.
Pumping your ambitions. 
Picking you up when you fell.

Your parents loved us and thanked us.

“And the music don’t feel like it did when I felt it with you,
Nothing that I do or feel ever feels like I felt it with you.”

When you wanted to go out.
Just the two of us.
Week after week.
Somewhere quiet to talk.
Something to say.
But we never said what we wanted to.

That obsession with Dirty Dancing.
It played in that white car of yours,
and Belinda Carlisle sat in the back seat
singing Circle in the Sand.
But there was only us.

When your head rested in my lap, 
and your hand squeezed my thigh
and stroked my leg. 
They said you were drunk,
but I knew different.
I went to bed happy.
I can still feel that gentle hand.

When you went to a sauna,
and begged me to go.
An excitable boy who wanted to learn.
But I wouldn’t go because I wanted to do whatever they did to you.
I didn’t tell you that, and I regret it.

That afternoon in the rain,
when Womack and Womack sang Teardrops,
I should have said come home with me.
Stay in my single bed.
Let me hold you and care for you and love you.
Because I think you would have done,
and everything might have been different.

“I took a crazy chance,
And next time I’ll be true, I’ll be true, I’ll be true.”